TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th

The majority of people who are in their early to mid-twenties think that the best way to use parents’ time with their children is to do things together that are related to schoolwork. They support that children could relieve their stress from school which as a result makes them to respect their parents. However, the notion does not reflect the stance that I hold and should be thought about in a different light. I believe that the best way to use parents’ time with their children is to have fun playing games or sports. This is because it makes their connection stronger than before and shares their feeling during playing games or sports.
First of all, parents’ playing games or sports with their children make their connection stronger than before. Interestingly, it has been a topic on social network websites such as Tweeter which people hold different opinions. Initially, I thought that the best way to use parents’ time with their children is to do things together that are related to schoolwork. However, after reading relevant tweet feeds, I realized that parents could not build strong connection with their children if they do not have fun playing games or sports with their children. For example, my friend who has two sons always has less time to do play with their children. And sometime I go his home and play games with their children more than their father does. While their father has weak connection with children, I and his children have strong connection as playing games. Thus, I realized that in order to build strong connection between them, parents have to play games or sports with their children even parents do not have much time playing those with their children.
Moreover, parents’ playing games or sports is best way to share their feelings with parents who share less time with their children. In addition, children are able to share their feeling with their parents’ during playing games or sports, which as a result allow children to have a common interest. In this case, children are more likely to share their feeling with their parents because they think that their parents are their friends. People in modern society should share feeling with their children. For instance, a study done by the New York Times, it revealed that children are more likely share their mind with their parents when they play games or sports with their parents. It is indicated that while 38 percent of 200 Korean children have not share their feeling with their parents, 62 percent of children are likely to share their feeling with their parents when they play games or sports. As a result, it is legitimated that parents’ playing games or sports is the best way to share their feelings with parents who share less time with their children.
To sum up, I believe that the best way to use parents’ time with their children is to have fun playing games or sports because it makes their connection stronger than before and shares their feeling during playing games or sports. Consequently, the importance of my view cannot be underestimated in that it can kill two birds with one stone for the reasons I have mentioned above.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 49, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'is the best'.
Suggestion: is the best
..., parents' playing games or sports is best way to share their feelings with parent...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 763, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'shared'.
Suggestion: shared
...percent of 200 Korean children have not share their feeling with their parents, 62 pe...
^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['consequently', 'first', 'however', 'if', 'moreover', 'so', 'thus', 'while', 'for example', 'for instance', 'in addition', 'such as', 'as a result', 'first of all', 'to sum up']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.282178217822 0.229887763892 123% => OK
Verbs: 0.155115511551 0.158761421928 98% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0511551155116 0.0866891130778 59% => OK
Adverbs: 0.039603960396 0.046263068375 86% => OK
Pronouns: 0.108910891089 0.0685040099705 159% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.123762376238 0.118717715034 104% => OK
Participles: 0.036303630363 0.0351676179071 103% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.48445381626 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Infinitives: 0.036303630363 0.0309702414327 117% => OK
Particles: 0.0016501650165 0.00188951952338 87% => OK
Determiners: 0.0412541254125 0.0887237588012 46% => Some determiners wanted.
Modal_auxiliary: 0.00990099009901 0.0209618222197 47% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0148514851485 0.0139019557991 107% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3186.0 2387.08602151 133% => OK
No of words: 539.0 408.028673835 132% => OK
Chars per words: 5.91094619666 5.86048508987 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81833721656 4.48200974243 108% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.332096474954 0.338922669872 98% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.244897959184 0.251872472559 97% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.142857142857 0.174417080927 82% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0742115027829 0.112833075102 66% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48445381626 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 212.727598566 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.326530612245 0.524397521467 62% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 38.4052012852 59.2087087015 65% => OK
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6684587814 106% => OK
Sentence length: 24.5 20.5533526081 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.1279089329 48.84282405 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.818181818 120.699889404 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5 20.5533526081 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.681818181818 0.644075263715 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.54480286738 36% => OK
Readability: 48.9897959184 45.7405998639 107% => OK
Elegance: 1.45652173913 1.45489161554 100% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.514392471297 0.300154397459 171% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.205699202831 0.103427244359 199% => Sentence is so close to another sentence.
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.141764248894 0.0752933317313 188% => Ideas in sentences are similar.
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.602734671476 0.497263757937 121% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.174909770971 0.151897553556 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.243017943447 0.114077575197 213% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.157126147273 0.0781384742642 201% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.586896925238 0.336927656856 174% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0668028495429 0.067059652881 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.450591895875 0.210909579961 214% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0677495264431 0.0618886996521 109% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8870967742 151% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.86379928315 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.91756272401 20% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 17.0 8.42114695341 202% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 2.4623655914 122% => OK
Neutral topic words: 0.0 2.75985663082 0% => More neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 20.0 13.6433691756 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

---------------------
Less content wanted. Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.