Every children want time from their parents, and this is needed for them. Some people will argue that small amount of time which parents have to spend with their children should check and help to complete schoolwork; other prefer to make the moment enjoyable. In my view, every parents must spend that time to improve the relationship with their children by having fun. I feel this way for two most important reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, parents are not always a good teacher, so they should not concern with this. Since, parents always want to manipulate what children do and that brings many problems, they should play with them. My own experience is a compelling example of this. I remember when I was 9 and studying class 3, my mother wanted to checked my homework regularly, but I did not like that at all. As a result, I did not do any homeworks at all. This was continuing for for many months, later my mother gave up. So, I thought that I should have finished my class assignment regularly. In the end, I really did well because of my mother not caring about my schoolwork.
Secondly, this time is needed for improving family bonding. There are many family where a gap remains between the family member because each members are busy with their job life. Thus, many bad or intolerable behavior come out from younger member, and they feel lack of love. If you spend time with your children and make them happy by playing with them, the respectness will enhance. For instance, recently I have visited my village where my elder brother family live. They have one children, named Santo, 4. I noticed that even though my brother and brother in law did not have enough time to spend with him, they had a good understanding among them, and they loved each other very much. I scrutinized this matter and finally found out the real reason behind this. After returning from work place, they spend one hour by playing ceram, watching TV programmes and discussing current topic before went to bad. This things really good for both children and parents.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that parents should spend their available spare time with their children for making fun. This is because this small quality time improve family bonding, and because this children are not like to read under the supervision of his family member. Every parent should be careful about their children so that they can be the asset for future life.
- TPO 30 question 1 71
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- TPO 20 - Integrated TOEFL essay 76
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: EACH_EVERY_NNS[1]
Message: 'Each' and 'every' are used with singular. Did you mean 'all'?
Suggestion: All
Every children want time from their parents, ...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 91, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...his is needed for them. Some people will argue that small amount of time which pa...
^^
Line 3, column 457, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: for
...y homeworks at all. This was continuing for for many months, later my mother gave up. S...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 71, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun family seems to be countable; consider using: 'many families'.
Suggestion: many families
...for improving family bonding. There are many family where a gap remains between the family ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 481, Rule ID: ONE_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use the numeral 'one' with plural words. Did you mean 'one child', 'a child', or simply 'children'?
Suggestion: one child; a child; children
...my elder brother family live. They have one children, named Santo, 4. I noticed that even th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 553, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: brother-in-law
...noticed that even though my brother and brother in law did not have enough time to spend with ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 911, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: These
...ssing current topic before went to bad. This things really good for both children an...
^^^^
Line 7, column 200, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ime improve family bonding, and because this children are not like to read under the...
^^^^
Line 7, column 378, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... they can be the asset for future life.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, really, second, secondly, so, thus, well, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, as a result, first of all, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 68.0 43.0788530466 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2044.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 431.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.74245939675 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55637350225 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.30700432097 2.67179642975 86% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.515081206497 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 612.0 618.680645161 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.5051477078 48.9658058833 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.76 100.406767564 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.24 20.6045352989 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.64 5.45110844103 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.24615769874 0.236089414692 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0785894680343 0.076458572812 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0809300237555 0.0737576698707 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.173996347443 0.150856017488 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0678133777534 0.0645574589148 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 11.7677419355 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 58.1214874552 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.92 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.12 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.