TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam

Celebrities have a huge impact in terms of influence people. Due the fact they have a large number of fans or followers their statements have the power to change people thoughts. Both youngers and olders may be influenced by celebrities. Personally, I think that since the fact they are connected and due the lack of maturity, the youngers are more susceptible to be influenced by opinions of famous entertainers and athletes.

Young people do not have enough maturity to think by themselves. In other words, the limited life experience of youngers does not provide enough knowledge to judge or criticize external opinions. Because of that, they are easily influenced by celebrities. For instance, recently I have seen an actress posting on her twitter a comment about mining. She thought that mining was unnecessary and only generates negative impacts on the environment. After that, several young people start to complain about mining. Even the controversial that lies in comment posted by a computer or smartphone that was manufactured using elements provided by mining industry.

In addition, the younger ones are more connected, with instant communications technologies such as Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and Instagram than the olders. Youngers usually spend tons of time in social media. Due this fact they are in constant contact with celebritie’s opinions which increase the chance of be influenced. For example, I saw many friends of mine with age less than 18, changing their thoughts about a famous political candidate to majors election this year, because of a youtuber that posted information about a fake case of corruption involving this politician.

To sum up, famous artists, pop singers and athletes are able to influence people specially the young one. The influence can be good or bad, but it's certain that youngers have not maturity to criticize that influence.

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Average: 9.2 (3 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 85, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...nfluence people. Due the fact they have a large number of fans or followers their statements have...
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Line 1, column 204, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eople thoughts. Both youngers and olders maybe influenced by celebrities. Persona...
^^
Line 1, column 262, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... by celebrities. Personaly, I think that since the fact they are connected and du...
^^
Line 3, column 54, Rule ID: THEM_SELVES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'themselves'?
Suggestion: themselves
...do not have enough maturity to think by them selves. In other words the limited life experi...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 294, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...s. For instance, recentilly I have seen a actress posting on her twiter a comment...
^
Line 5, column 4, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[2]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: addition,
...ents provided by mining industry. In addition ther younger ones are more connected, w...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 342, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun friend seems to be countable; consider using: 'many friends'.
Suggestion: many friends
...nce of be influenced. For example I saw many friend of mine with age less than 18, changing...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 416, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...than 18, changing their thoughts about a famous political candidate to majors ele...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, may, so, for example, for instance, i think, in addition, such as, in other words, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 43.0788530466 60% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1578.0 1977.66487455 80% => OK
No of words: 300.0 407.700716846 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.26 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.16179145029 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83753414076 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 212.727598566 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.593333333333 0.524837075471 113% => OK
syllable_count: 495.0 618.680645161 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 51.3173180128 48.9658058833 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.8235294118 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6470588235 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.94117647059 5.45110844103 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.194481630502 0.236089414692 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0589622478187 0.076458572812 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0494845428111 0.0737576698707 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111233567038 0.150856017488 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0614438552236 0.0645574589148 95% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 11.7677419355 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.93 10.9000537634 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.27 8.01818996416 116% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.