Views differ considerably, when it comes to the issue whether that the opinion of celebrities are more important to young people than they are to older people arouses much controversy among different people. Some people contend that young people do not pay attention to celebrities opinions because they are busy in their studies. However, as far as I am concerned, I think that young people are concerning about celebrities opinion too much because they lack the maturity and they are able to access to the the internet.
First of all, young people lack the maturation to distinguish between right and wrong as they believe anything that happened around them. They tend to mimic the celebrity in the way of dressing, the way they talk, and even the way of life style. they consider celebrity as a role model for them because they are famous and popular. According to recent survey showed that 60% of young people in the US are copying the celebrities because they want to be famous like them one day. For example, many youngesters in my country are believing everything that celebrity do. They are wearing clothes that are not fitting in my society espicially boys tend to wear the same shoes brand that the celebrity favor in the commercials,also, they are eating in a prestigees way as they are using knife and fork . This example illustrated the um maturation of young people .
secondly, due to the development of technology nowadays, young people have better access than the older people.The more they are watching celebrites talking in the television or in the internet, the more they believing them. In addition to that the articles and videos that the young people always access to it made it possible for them to believe and attached to the celebrities.For example, most of the viewer of football game that being broadcasting on the television are young people because they read about this game a head of time on their smart phone,However, there are less older people watching the game because they are busy in their jobs . That is why most youngesters are more attaching to celebrities, hence, they believe their opinion without any investigation.
To put it in a nutshell, young people are believing celebrities more than the older people not only because they lack the maturation, but also because their easier access to yhe developed technology.
- tpo integrated 16 76
- TPO-49 - Integrated Writing Task Like many creatures, humpback whales migrate long distances for feeding and mating purposes. How animals manage to migrate long distances is often puzzling. In the case of humpback whales, we may have found the answer: the 85
- Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of the time is to have fun playing games or sports. Other believe that it is best to use that time doing thing together that are related to the 60
- To improve the quality of education, universities should spend money on salaries university professors. 70
- All university students should required to talk history courses not matter what is their field . 70
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: For example, many youngesters in my country are believing everything that celebrity do.
Error: youngesters Suggestion: youngsters
Sentence: They are wearing clothes that are not fitting in my society espicially boys tend to wear the same shoes brand that the celebrity favor in the commercials,also, they are eating in a prestigees way as they are using knife and fork .
Error: espicially Suggestion: especially
Error: prestigees Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: secondly, due to the development of technology nowadays, young people have better access than the older people.The more they are watching celebrites talking in the television or in the internet, the more they believing them.
Error: celebrites Suggestion: celebrates
Sentence: That is why most youngesters are more attaching to celebrities, hence, they believe their opinion without any investigation.
Error: youngesters Suggestion: youngsters
Sentence: To put it in a nutshell, young people are believing celebrities more than the older people not only because they lack the maturation, but also because their easier access to yhe developed technology.
Error: yhe Suggestion: he
flaws:
No. of Words: 400 while No. of Different Words: 178
In the second paragraph, the examples and arguments are duplicated.
----------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 400 350
No. of Characters: 1922 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.472 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.805 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.53 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.769 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.216 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.411 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.584 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.182 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 94, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... whether that the opinion of celebrities are more important to young people than ...
^^
Line 1, column 234, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...fferent people. Some people contend that young people do not pay attention to cel...
^^
Line 1, column 395, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...am concerned, I think that young people are concerning about celebrities opinion too much beca...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 507, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...maturity and they are able to access to the the internet. First of all, young peop...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 507, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...maturity and they are able to access to the the internet. First of all, young peop...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 171, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d them. They tend to mimic the celebrity in the way of dressing, the way they tal...
^^
Line 4, column 248, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...y talk, and even the way of life style. they consider celebrity as a role model for ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 524, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... example, many youngesters in my country are believing everything that celebrity ...
^^
Line 4, column 526, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...xample, many youngesters in my country are believing everything that celebrity do. They are ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 723, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , also
...t the celebrity favor in the commercials,also, they are eating in a prestigees way as...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 798, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ees way as they are using knife and fork . This example illustrated the um maturat...
^^
Line 4, column 859, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...trated the um maturation of young people . secondly, due to the development o...
^^
Line 4, column 862, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ted the um maturation of young people . secondly, due to the development of tech...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Secondly
...he um maturation of young people . secondly, due to the development of technology n...
^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 112, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...ave better access than the older people.The more they are watching celebrites talki...
^^^
Line 6, column 209, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...vision or in the internet, the more they believing them. In addition to that the ...
^^
Line 6, column 382, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...believe and attached to the celebrities.For example, most of the viewer of football...
^^^
Line 6, column 507, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ision are young people because they read about this game a head of time on their ...
^^
Line 6, column 560, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , However
...game a head of time on their smart phone,However, there are less older people watching t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 580, Rule ID: LESS_COMPARATIVE[1]
Message: Non-standard use of the comparative or superlative. Did you mean 'less old'?
Suggestion: less old
...on their smart phone,However, there are less older people watching the game because they a...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 651, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...game because they are busy in their jobs . That is why most youngesters are more a...
^^
Line 9, column 39, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
... To put it in a nutshell, young people are believing celebrities more than the older people ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'for example', 'i think', 'in addition', 'first of all']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.236111111111 0.229887763892 103% => OK
Verbs: 0.150462962963 0.158761421928 95% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0949074074074 0.0866891130778 109% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0486111111111 0.046263068375 105% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0856481481481 0.0685040099705 125% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.134259259259 0.118717715034 113% => OK
Participles: 0.037037037037 0.0351676179071 105% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.74823658308 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0439814814815 0.0309702414327 142% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0902777777778 0.0887237588012 102% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0 0.0209618222197 0% => Some modal verbs wanted.
WH_determiners: 0.0115740740741 0.0139019557991 83% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2396.0 2387.08602151 100% => OK
No of words: 399.0 408.028673835 98% => OK
Chars per words: 6.00501253133 5.86048508987 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46933824581 4.48200974243 100% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.323308270677 0.338922669872 95% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.240601503759 0.251872472559 96% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.170426065163 0.174417080927 98% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.127819548872 0.112833075102 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74823658308 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.456140350877 0.524397521467 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 48.6269491411 59.2087087015 82% => OK
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6684587814 68% => OK
Sentence length: 28.5 20.5533526081 139% => OK
Sentence length SD: 89.5152478175 48.84282405 183% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 171.142857143 120.699889404 142% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.5 20.5533526081 139% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.928571428571 0.644075263715 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 22.0 5.54480286738 397% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 52.5601503759 45.7405998639 115% => OK
Elegance: 1.43089430894 1.45489161554 98% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.447892241514 0.300154397459 149% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.162851752732 0.103427244359 157% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0742795610079 0.0752933317313 99% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.624265755402 0.497263757937 126% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.209355226314 0.151897553556 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.232436760179 0.114077575197 204% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0849260818195 0.0781384742642 109% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.55552901213 0.336927656856 165% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0462640107156 0.067059652881 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.356850293538 0.210909579961 169% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0589840727318 0.0618886996521 95% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8870967742 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.86379928315 52% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.91756272401 81% => OK
Positive topic words: 7.0 8.42114695341 83% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 2.4623655914 81% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.75985663082 145% => OK
Total topic words: 13.0 13.6433691756 95% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
---------------------
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.