Education has always played an inevitable role in every individual’s life. In the past few decades, as time has passed, the competitions among individuals have increased to earn a better score in school. Hence, parents are paying more efforts to encourage their children to get higher grades in the exam. In this regard, some people think that parents should offer money as rewards when children get higher scores in the exam. While others hold an opposite view. From my vantage point, the latter view contains more weight. I take the position on account for the following reasons.
The first reason that makes me hold the belief that it is a good idea that parents motivate their loved ones to work hard for their exam however, providing money as a reward is not a judicious way to motivate children. To be more specific, children are not matured enough at this age and cannot distinguish between good and bad for them. Hence, getting a financial reward can be used anywhere inappropriately which may cause negative consequences in children’s life. To shed more light on this, when my brother was in high school, he used to get a reward from his parents after achieving higher grades in the exam. Consequently, he started using that money to buy cigarettes and he got addicted to it. Luckily, I caught him with cigarettes and made him realize his mistake. Therefore, had I not made him realize his mistake, his health would have badly affected by a smoking habit.
Furthermore, another noteworthy point is that there are various other ways whereby parents can motivate their children besides providing money. In other words, children would not learn any motives behind getting money after achieving a higher score whereas, making a promise to buy their favorite possessions will push them to do well in the exam. Also, it is always good for children to get involved in such possessions instead of dealing with money at this age. My own experience is a compelling example of this. From my childhood, I liked playing with barbie dolls. Therefore, my parents used to motivate me to work harder to achieve the first rank in the exam to get a barbie doll. Thus, I started working hard for my exams so that I could get a new barbie.
Lastly, giving money to their kids depending on their performance might foster their overall grades, while the negative consequences are overweighed the positive ones. To be more specific, children get habituated to using money to buy their personal products. Meanwhile, if parents will stop providing it, children will no longer work hard for their exams and might cheat in the exam to gain good scores. Gradually, children would start looking for other options to earn money and may get deviated from their education. Thereby, parents should need to look for possible consequences before providing financial rewards.
All in all, after contemplating remarks I strongly believe that it is not a good idea to gift money as a reward to the children. This is because they might lose interest in their studies if their parents would stop giving them money and because they might spend that earning inappropriately.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 428, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...children get higher scores in the exam. While others hold an opposite view. From my v...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, consequently, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, lastly, look, may, so, therefore, thus, well, whereas, while, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 9.8082437276 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2619.0 1977.66487455 132% => OK
No of words: 532.0 407.700716846 130% => OK
Chars per words: 4.92293233083 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80261649409 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62295781724 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 262.0 212.727598566 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.492481203008 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 808.2 618.680645161 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.9261178177 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.5357142857 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0 20.6045352989 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.17857142857 5.45110844103 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.338837110922 0.236089414692 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0852800922124 0.076458572812 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0651623808029 0.0737576698707 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.197773543886 0.150856017488 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0132481374232 0.0645574589148 21% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 86.8835125448 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.