traveling in their own country benefit more than traveling to foreign countries - sohrab

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traveling in their own country benefit more than traveling to foreign countries - sohrab

Many people believe that traveling in their own country benefit more than traveling to foreign countries; on the other hand, there are some other people who believe that traveling to the foreign countries benefit more than traveling in their own country. I believe that the first group are right because of some reasons.

First of all, traveling in our own country has some advantages for the economy of our country. To explain more, when people decide to go to travel, they have to find a place to live in, they have to use gas for driving, and they have to eat something; they, as a result, should pay some money for the mentioned activities. Moreover, the money that they spend sometimes contain very large amount of cash. This money is a biggest help for the economy of the destination area. For example, when people spend their money for the hotels, restaurants, and other places, they, as a result, are helping the people who are living and working in the destination place; as a result, all of this sequences lead the society to have more powerful economy.

In addition, traveling in our own country help us to become more familiar with our diverse culture. For example, last year I went to the Tabriz, which is the one of five biggest cities in my country. Tabriz is one of the biggest cities in our country, where the people in there are mostly speaks in turkey, I, as a result, became very familiar with the culture of Azari people. Also, there are many tombs of famous people in the Tabriz; for example, Sattar khan, who was the leader of a political movement in many years age.

Finally, traveling in your own country help you to spend fewer money than traveling to foreign countries; to explain more, when you decide to travel in your country, you need to spend money for your hotel, food, and gas; on the other hand, when you decide to go to another country, you should pay some huge money for airplane ticket, for visa process, for expensive hotels, and for expensive transportation systems like car renting. As a result, when people decide to travel in their own country, there is no need to spend your money a lot, also there is no need to spend a lot time for visa process.

Overall, I believe that people benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries because of the mentioned reasons.

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2015-04-01 Sohrabyy 60 view
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the first group are right because of some reasons.
the first group is right because of some reasons.

Sentence: This money is a biggest help for the economy of the destination area.
Description: The token a is not usually followed by an adjective, superlative
Suggestion: Refer to a and biggest

Sentence: For example, when people spend their money for the hotels, restaurants, and other places, they, as a result, are helping the people who are living and working in the destination place; as a result, all of this sequences lead the society to have more powerful economy.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and sequences

Sentence: In addition, traveling in our own country help us to become more familiar with our diverse culture.
Description: The fragment country help us is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace help with verb, past tense

Sentence: Tabriz is one of the biggest cities in our country, where the people in there are ...
Description: The token in is not usually followed by an existential there
Suggestion: Refer to in and there

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Words: 416 while No. of Different Words: 150

Don't use this style a lot, like:
they, as a result, are helping...
I, as a result, became very familiar...

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 416 350
No. of Characters: 1868 1500
No. of Different Words: 150 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.516 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.49 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.225 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.748 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.395 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.634 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.141 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5