You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live. What is one thing you will do to improve your community? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.
People nowadays so focus on earning a living that they forget about their health. I couldn’t stand this fact so I want to do something for them voluntarily. I would love to create a fitness club at the park in my neighborhood and spend a considerable amount of time helping others to train. I feel this way for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, health plays an important role in our lives so I want to inspire people to workout to keep fit. Most people, in my opinion, don’t take working out seriously. They always follow a permanent daily timetable: go to work in the morning then come back home watching TV or spend their free time on social networks at night. Many people keep making excuses that they are too busy to have time to train, Nonetheless, they can spend less time in their unbeneficial hobbies to do some workout. My own experience is a good example to illustrate this. A few years ago, I used to be overweight. This can be attributed to the fact that after going to school, I always played video games and I was not different from a couch potato. My health was getting worse and worse, that being said, I didn’t pay much attention to it. Not until I was diagnosed with diabetes, I stopped making excuses, changed my daily routine completely and started to spend approximately two hours a day for training. Consequently, I lost 20 kilograms in a year and my health has improved tremendously. I feel that if I can change, others can too.
Furthermore, training in the park creates an opportunity for people to enjoy the nature. Nowadays, people tend to forget to appreciate the nature because they are all busy with their lives and pay too much attention to technological devices. Moreover, the nature is in tragedy, the fresh air in suburban areas is polluted day by day by exhaust fumes from the abundance of vehicles on the street. People should learn to adore the nature while they still can. Consequently, people ought to spend some time in the park, where has the clean and fresh air with a beautiful environment to enjoy. For instance, as I mentioned above, I had to work out a lot to lose weight to get rid of my diabetes. I started to go to the park near my house every day to do exercises. It was a quite big park with a harmonious environment. Not until then, when I could enjoy the fresh air in the park and watched the kids having fun at the playground there instead of playing video games at home, did I realize how beautiful and mesmerizing the nature was.
In conclusion, I would rather start a training club at the local park. This is because it is important to maintain a good health and want to help people enjoy the nature surrounding them. In addition, the nature needs our attention in order to survive.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-05-07 | evanlu | 3 | view |
| 2018-05-22 | Elena Cristina | 83 | view |
| 2017-09-30 | mojtaba_aam | 14 | view |
| 2017-07-29 | mahabub | 60 | view |
| 2017-03-22 | Evgeniya | 3 | view |
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- TPO9 - integrated task 86
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
People nowadays so focus on earning a li...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 297, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...amount of time helping others to train. I feel this way for two reasons which I w...
^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...will explore in the following essay. To begin with, health plays an important...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hat if I can change, others can too. Furthermore, training in the park create...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 328, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'day by'.
Suggestion: day by
...fresh air in suburban areas is polluted day by day by exhaust fumes from the abundance of veh...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...iful and mesmerizing the nature was. In conclusion, I would rather start a tr...
^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'if', 'moreover', 'nonetheless', 'so', 'still', 'then', 'while', 'for instance', 'i feel', 'in addition', 'in conclusion', 'in my opinion', 'to begin with']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.204667863555 0.229887763892 89% => OK
Verbs: 0.184919210054 0.158761421928 116% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0718132854578 0.0866891130778 83% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0520646319569 0.046263068375 113% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0825852782765 0.0685040099705 121% => OK
Prepositions: 0.104129263914 0.118717715034 88% => OK
Participles: 0.0305206463196 0.0351676179071 87% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.65615546977 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0592459605027 0.0309702414327 191% => Less infinitives wanted.
Particles: 0.00359066427289 0.00188951952338 190% => Less particles wanted.
Determiners: 0.0879712746858 0.0887237588012 99% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0197486535009 0.0209618222197 94% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00718132854578 0.0139019557991 52% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2810.0 2387.08602151 118% => OK
No of words: 504.0 408.028673835 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.5753968254 5.86048508987 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73813722054 4.48200974243 106% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.287698412698 0.338922669872 85% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.202380952381 0.251872472559 80% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.134920634921 0.174417080927 77% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.10119047619 0.112833075102 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65615546977 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 261.0 212.727598566 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.517857142857 0.524397521467 99% => OK
Word variations: 61.8998507388 59.2087087015 105% => OK
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6684587814 131% => OK
Sentence length: 18.6666666667 20.5533526081 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.4483331632 48.84282405 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.074074074 120.699889404 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6666666667 20.5533526081 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.592592592593 0.644075263715 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.54480286738 108% => OK
Readability: 38.9047619048 45.7405998639 85% => OK
Elegance: 1.06179775281 1.45489161554 73% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.278852083847 0.300154397459 93% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0689557554858 0.103427244359 67% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.04875900081 0.0752933317313 65% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.436027572084 0.497263757937 88% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.140284053825 0.151897553556 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103628841457 0.114077575197 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0707650585273 0.0781384742642 91% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.454897809188 0.336927656856 135% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0500768639329 0.067059652881 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.201466310104 0.210909579961 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0372233028584 0.0618886996521 60% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8870967742 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.86379928315 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.91756272401 122% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 8.42114695341 107% => OK
Negative topic words: 6.0 2.4623655914 244% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.75985663082 181% => OK
Total topic words: 20.0 13.6433691756 147% => OK
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Rates: 80.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations to cover all aspects.