your friend has the opportunity to choose either one of two types of majors(fields of study), which one of the following two majors do you think is better choice, and why?
1. A major that would allow him to finish years of study and get a degree sooner(so that he would began to work full-time quickly) or
2. A major that requires many years of study that provide him with more employment opportunities and offers in the future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Since the industrial revolution in Europe, the role of education has been highlighted for getting a job. Jobs are more complicated nowadays and getting a high level job, requires a great amount of knowledge and education, usually a university degree. On the other hand studying for a higher degree can be costly and time-taking. While, there are some people who are willing to start a job or career as soon as possible, I personally contend that getting a higher education level is a better choice for a prosperous future. I will vindicate my standpoint in the following article.
First, with a higher level of education, getting an appealing job will be accessible. Obviously, longer years of study mean more knowledge. There are a little, who has this amount of knowledge and expertise. Consequently, companies will pay more to someone to fill a position that requires that knowledge. In other words if you know more, you will get paid more. As an example I can mention a company that I used to work in. When I enter that company my salary was higher than the employees with a longer work experience but with less educational background.
Second, university students usually involve in part-time jobs. The payment for these jobs is enough for a person to manage his life and costs and expenses. I mean there is no necessity for starting a full time work sooner. During these part-time jobs one can experience a lot of different situations and even can analyze different types of work. So after his graduation, he knows what he wants to do and what type of job is suitable for him. For example I have a cousin who is CTO of an IT company in Iran. Some years ago she started her masters just a while after finishing her undergraduate studies in software engineering, during her master’s period she worked as a part-time employee in one of the major companies in Tehran, She gained a lot of experiences during that time, but she also realized that she didn’t like the job. So after graduation of master’s degree, not only she had work experience but she could manage her life and was ready for a upper level positions.
To summarize, having a longer period of study will be beneficial. Cause with a higher level education getting better jobs with more payment will be easier. On the other hand there is no rush to start a full time job. I believe this is a kind of investment. If you invest for longer terms, the profit will be more.
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is important to read or watch news presented by people with different views than people by similar views. 73
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Children rely too much on technology, like computers, smart phones, video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or outside with friends would be better for children's development 80
- TPO-01 - Integrated Writing Task 71
- TPO 23- Integrated 80
- TPO 23-integrated 73
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y standpoint in the following article. First, with a higher level of education,...
^^
Line 2, column 365, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... you know more, you will get paid more. As an example I can mention a company that...
^^
Line 3, column 201, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled as one.
Suggestion: fulltime
...an there is no necessity for starting a full time work sooner. During these part-time job...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 485, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'an' or 'IT'?
Suggestion: an; IT
...r example I have a cousin who is CTO of an IT company in Iran. Some years ago she sta...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 491, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'companies'?
Suggestion: companies
...ple I have a cousin who is CTO of an IT company in Iran. Some years ago she started her...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 968, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...could manage her life and was ready for a upper level positions. To summarize, h...
^
Line 4, column 202, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled as one.
Suggestion: fulltime
... other hand there is no rush to start a full time job. I believe this is a kind of invest...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, if, second, so, while, for example, i mean, kind of, you know, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 8.0752688172 198% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2024.0 1977.66487455 102% => OK
No of words: 429.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.71794871795 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55107846309 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7617980825 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.484848484848 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 657.9 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 60.2786861171 48.9658058833 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.96 100.406767564 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.16 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.12 5.45110844103 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.88709677419 266% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.108344483411 0.236089414692 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0296955015616 0.076458572812 39% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0300404322165 0.0737576698707 41% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0644652984298 0.150856017488 43% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0151980045648 0.0645574589148 24% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.4 11.7677419355 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.8 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.53 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.