Asteroid colonization
PFA
ref:https://www.toeflresources.com/writing-section/integrated-writing/
Please suggest how can I improve to get 5/5.
Thank you
The writer writes about the idea of colonizing asteroids and how this idea has become more realistic in recent years because of advances in technology and space exploration, but the lecturer has directly contradicted the views stated in the passage by saying that this claims are not supported by any evidence.
Firstly, the writer talks about that the benefit of asteroid colonization is scientific potential. writer adds that research conducted in the environment of asteroids could provide valuable insights in many academic fields and they can be act as a 'stepping stone' to future missions. This opposes the ideas of lecturer which states that we dont't have hard proof that these asteroids will provide advantages and can have scientific benefits. We have very limited knowledge about them although we are observing them from many decades.
Secondly, the writer stated that colonizing asteroids would be beneficial because it has the potential for economic growth in the areas like mining resources. On the other hand lecturer talks that we don't exactly know which elements are present on these asteroids and we are not clear about that this mining would be cost effective or not.
Lastly, according to passage asteroid colonization could also have important implications for long term survival of humanity. Passage says that human can survive large scale disasters and also can provide information related to evolution of solar system. Here again lecturer contradicts by stating that the human settlement is hard because low gravity damages to bones and muscles and weakens them.
Thus we can conclude that although the passage say that colonizing asteroids is beneficial lecture shows how it is not suitable.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-05-28 | Atharva_Bhide188 | 80 | view |
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 100, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Writer
...d colonization is scientific potential. writer adds that research conducted in the env...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 201, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...n the other hand lecturer talks that we dont exactly know which elements are present...
^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... bones and muscles and weakens them. Thus we can conclude that although the passa...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, thus, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 10.4613686534 105% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 5.04856512141 198% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 7.30242825607 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 12.0772626932 116% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 22.412803532 134% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 28.0 30.3222958057 92% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 5.01324503311 160% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1454.0 1373.03311258 106% => OK
No of words: 273.0 270.72406181 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.32600732601 5.08290768461 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.06481385082 4.04702891845 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64469879149 2.5805825403 102% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 145.348785872 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.56043956044 0.540411800872 104% => OK
syllable_count: 460.8 419.366225166 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 3.25607064018 61% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.23620309051 36% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 13.0662251656 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 21.2450331126 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.6397926877 49.2860985944 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.181818182 110.228320801 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.8181818182 21.698381199 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.63636363636 7.06452816374 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.09492273731 122% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 4.33554083885 161% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 4.45695364238 90% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.27373068433 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.127123522433 0.272083759551 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0544694125049 0.0996497079465 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0377703046507 0.0662205650399 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0825385407737 0.162205337803 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0299425850583 0.0443174109184 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 13.3589403974 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 53.8541721854 72% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 11.0289183223 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.93 12.2367328918 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.16 8.42419426049 109% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 63.6247240618 118% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.7273730684 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.498013245 110% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.2008830022 125% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.