TOEFL integrated writing: Altruism.

The passage and lecture focus on Altruism and how it embedded in humans and animals. The passage states that altruistic behaviour is the one , in which an animal or a human give up their own selfish interest while helping other animals or humans.

Firstly, the passage gives an example of humans. In which, humans sometimes exhibit altruistic behaviour, in that they share food with strangers , donate important body organs to family members or strangers.Passage concludes that these acts are altruistic as they are aiding other people without any expectation of rewards.The professor refutes this point by giving an example. Professor states that even though donating body organs or food is a kind act , such doners usually recieve appreciations from strangers or from family. Such acts infact, actually increase the self worth of the doners.So not an unselfish act, after all!!

Secondly, the passage gives an example of the meerkat. In which an individual meerkat acts as a watchman , always looking out for predators, without having any food while other group members eat. The passage directly states that its an altruistic act. However the professor refutes this point by mentioning that the sentinel meerkat actually would have consumed a lot of food before standing its guard, as per the studies which gives evidence for the professor's claim. So sentinel meerkat's act isn't that altruistic.

Thirdly, the passage states that if the sentinel meerkat spots a predator, it would be left alone and would make an easy target for the predator since the others eating in group would be able to defend themselves. The professor states that this statement is unjust. Since the guard meerkat usually would be standing in front of a burrow while watching over the others , it would be easy for the sentinel to hide inside the burrow at the slighest chance of sighting the predator. Professor also throws another evidence to suggest that the meerkats in the group would be in a great danger because they either choose to escape from the group or be confused while staying in the group when the predator has arrived. Which could be risky for the meerkats in the group rather than that of sentinel. She clearly states that the sentinel would be totally safe , with minimal chance of risking its life.

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Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 137, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... states that altruistic behaviour is the one , in which an animal or a human give...
^^
Line 1, column 142, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...es that altruistic behaviour is the one , in which an animal or a human give up t...
^^
Line 3, column 145, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
..., in that they share food with strangers , donate important body organs to family ...
^^
Line 3, column 208, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Passage
...y organs to family members or strangers.Passage concludes that these acts are altruisti...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 300, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...they are aiding other people without any expectation of rewards.The professor ref...
^^
Line 3, column 325, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...ple without any expectation of rewards.The professor refutes this point by giving ...
^^^
Line 3, column 456, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...nating body organs or food is a kind act , such doners usually recieve appreciatio...
^^
Line 3, column 597, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...y increase the self worth of the doners.So not an unselfish act, after all!! Se...
^^
Line 5, column 105, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...an individual meerkat acts as a watchman , always looking out for predators, witho...
^^
Line 5, column 253, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ctly states that its an altruistic act. However the professor refutes this point by men...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 414, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...od before standing its guard, as per the studies which gives evidence for the pro...
^^
Line 5, column 496, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...fessors claim. So sentinel meerkats act isnt that altruistic. Thirdly, the passag...
^^^^
Line 7, column 228, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...able to defend themselves. The professor states that this statement is unjust. Si...
^^
Line 7, column 292, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[7]
Message: The adverb 'usually' is usually put between 'would' and 'be'.
Suggestion: would usually be
...ment is unjust. Since the guard meerkat usually would be standing in front of a burrow while wat...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 369, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... a burrow while watching over the others , it would be easy for the sentinel to hi...
^^
Line 7, column 853, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... that the sentinel would be totally safe , with minimal chance of risking its life...
^^

Discourse Markers used:
['actually', 'also', 'first', 'firstly', 'however', 'if', 'look', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'third', 'thirdly', 'while', 'after all']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.25845410628 0.261695866417 99% => OK
Verbs: 0.152173913043 0.158904122519 96% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0676328502415 0.0723426182421 93% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0410628019324 0.0435111971325 94% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0289855072464 0.0277247811725 105% => OK
Prepositions: 0.154589371981 0.128828473217 120% => OK
Participles: 0.0434782608696 0.0370669169778 117% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.51536661007 2.5805825403 97% => OK
Infinitives: 0.012077294686 0.0208969081088 58% => OK
Particles: 0.0048309178744 0.00154638098197 312% => OK
Determiners: 0.13768115942 0.128158765124 107% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0217391304348 0.0158828679856 137% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0144927536232 0.0114777025283 126% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2304.0 1645.83664459 140% => OK
No of words: 386.0 271.125827815 142% => OK
Chars per words: 5.9689119171 6.08160592843 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43248042346 4.04852973271 109% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.386010362694 0.374372842146 103% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.282383419689 0.287516216867 98% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.173575129534 0.187439937562 93% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0854922279793 0.113142543107 76% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51536661007 2.5805825403 97% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 145.348785872 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497409326425 0.539623497131 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 53.7174961029 53.8517498576 100% => OK
How many sentences: 17.0 13.0529801325 130% => OK
Sentence length: 22.7058823529 21.7502111507 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 80.4348475841 49.3711431718 163% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.529411765 132.220823453 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7058823529 21.7502111507 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.823529411765 0.878197800319 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 16.0 3.39072847682 472% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 50.9442243219 50.5018328374 101% => OK
Elegance: 2.05434782609 1.90840788429 108% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.00552152348877 0.549887131256 1% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.142979065081 0.142949733639 100% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0791120542125 0.0787303798458 100% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.533711333887 0.631733273073 84% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.20861800507 0.139662658121 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0035119378046 0.266732575781 1% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0140477512184 0.103435571967 14% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.383367638316 0.414875509568 92% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0926933566803 0.0530846634433 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.00848145949575 0.40443939384 2% => The content is off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.014690318769 0.0528353158467 28% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 4.33554083885 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 4.45695364238 45% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.26048565121 164% => OK
Positive topic words: 8.0 3.49668874172 229% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 3.62251655629 55% => OK
Neutral topic words: 6.0 3.1766004415 189% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 10.2958057395 155% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Less content wanted. Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.