TOEFL integrated writing Altruism

The given passage emphasizes on the altruism and gives examples of humans and animals exhibiting the altruistic behaviour. According to passage, Individuals performing altruistic acts do not gain anything for themselves. However the lecturer contradicts this point by giving findings of a study and some examples which casts a doubt in the conclusion made in the passage.

Firstly, according to passage in meerkats group one individual will act as a sentinel and will look out for predator while putting itself in danger as it standing alone. But the lecturer argues that the sentinel meerkat will stand next to it's burrow while standing guard so it will be easy for it to escape. And also the lecturer points out that the alarm cry made by the standing meerkat will scare the predator of from it and will prompt predator towards the group which will be either scattered or sticked together upon hearing the alarm which makes it easier for the predator to hunt.

secondly the claim made in the passage about the standing guard meerkat will starve while the other members of the group are feeding themselves is put down by the lecturer by pointing out that the sentinel meerkat will feed itself stomach full before taking the on-guard duty.

The passage claim about the humans who donate organs to either strangers or family members will gain nothing in return, but the lecturer not completely agree with it he points out that the person who donates the organs to either to strangers or family members will get appreciation in return and will make his self worth increase. And the lecturer points out that many people will do anything to increase their self worth.

In this way, the lecturer casts a doubt in the conclusion made in the reading passage.

Votes
Average: 4.8 (3 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 223, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ts do not gain anything for themselves. However the lecturer contradicts this point by ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Secondly
... it easier for the predator to hunt. secondly the claim made in the passage about the...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, look, second, secondly, so, while

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 10.4613686534 38% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 5.04856512141 257% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 13.0 7.30242825607 178% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 22.412803532 94% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 30.3222958057 139% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 5.01324503311 20% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1468.0 1373.03311258 107% => OK
No of words: 298.0 270.72406181 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.92617449664 5.08290768461 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.15483772266 4.04702891845 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40708606628 2.5805825403 93% => OK
Unique words: 143.0 145.348785872 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.479865771812 0.540411800872 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 441.0 419.366225166 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 3.25607064018 0% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.23620309051 36% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.51434878587 264% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 2.5761589404 116% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 13.0662251656 77% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 21.2450331126 137% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 84.3869658182 49.2860985944 171% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.8 110.228320801 133% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.8 21.698381199 137% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.9 7.06452816374 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.09492273731 122% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 4.19205298013 48% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 4.33554083885 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 4.45695364238 135% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.27373068433 23% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0107077093967 0.272083759551 4% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.00834094114395 0.0996497079465 8% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0250228234319 0.0662205650399 38% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.00801554944942 0.162205337803 5% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0160310988988 0.0443174109184 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 13.3589403974 125% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 53.8541721854 94% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.0289183223 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.91 12.2367328918 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.42419426049 94% => OK
difficult_words: 54.0 63.6247240618 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.7273730684 103% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.498013245 130% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.2008830022 125% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.