TPO 46 Integrated writing task
The reading passage suggests that doctors should be convinced to implement a new system based on technology , which its function is to save the data of ill people admitted in the hospitals , instead of using the conventional system. the author provides three possible advantages for adopting such sophisticated system. However, the lecturer cast doubt on the claim made by the author by stating that these merits are still uncertain.
First, while the reading posits that adopting this modern system may lead to the decline of financial cost because paper is no longer needed for daily work. The lecturer, one the other hand, asserts that declining cost is not significant. doctors may still keep the paper as back up once required. Furthermore, they may still uses them especially those documents with signatures for illegal issues' purpose. As such, cost will not be dropped as the author believes.
Second, the benefit proposed by reading that chance of making error will be low is also contradicted directly by the lecturer. She states that due to the fact that most doctors still using paper, error can not be eliminated as the new system is susceptible to errors in particular when the staff enter the data in the system manually. As result, there is a possibility for making a mistakes by data entering employees when interrupting the notes made by doctors.
Finally, the author introduces another benefit for electronic system by postulating that doctors will be able to access the patients’ information easily. This point is challenged by the lecture. she argues that researchers will counter a difficulty to access the information because it is subject to the law pertaining to the privacy. when doctors desire to access the information, they have to follow strict policy. Moreover,accessing to the data is actually not granted as there is a potential that such data may be eliminated by the patients.Therefore, this advantage is not practical as well.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 108, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...plement a new system based on technology , which its function is to save the data ...
^^
Line 1, column 189, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... of ill people admitted in the hospitals , instead of using the conventional syst...
^^
Line 1, column 191, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...f ill people admitted in the hospitals , instead of using the conventional system...
^^
Line 1, column 235, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...stead of using the conventional system. the author provides three possible advantag...
^^^
Line 3, column 240, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Doctors
...that declining cost is not significant. doctors may still keep the paper as back up onc...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 196, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...act that most doctors still using paper, error can not be eliminated as the new s...
^^
Line 5, column 268, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the new system is susceptible to errors in particular when the staff enter the d...
^^
Line 7, column 196, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: She
...his point is challenged by the lecture. she argues that researchers will counter a ...
^^^
Line 7, column 336, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...t to the law pertaining to the privacy. when doctors desire to access the informatio...
^^^^
Line 7, column 426, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , accessing
...y have to follow strict policy. Moreover,accessing to the data is actually not granted as ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 546, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Therefore
... data may be eliminated by the patients.Therefore, this advantage is not practical as wel...
^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['actually', 'also', 'finally', 'first', 'furthermore', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'second', 'so', 'still', 'therefore', 'well', 'while', 'in particular']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.228169014085 0.261695866417 87% => OK
Verbs: 0.180281690141 0.158904122519 113% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0788732394366 0.0723426182421 109% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0704225352113 0.0435111971325 162% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0197183098592 0.0277247811725 71% => OK
Prepositions: 0.123943661972 0.128828473217 96% => OK
Participles: 0.0760563380282 0.0370669169778 205% => Less participles wanted.
Conjunctions: 2.95052140469 2.5805825403 114% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0338028169014 0.0208969081088 162% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00154638098197 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.121126760563 0.128158765124 95% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0281690140845 0.0158828679856 177% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0112676056338 0.0114777025283 98% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 1980.0 1645.83664459 120% => OK
No of words: 322.0 271.125827815 119% => OK
Chars per words: 6.14906832298 6.08160592843 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23607819155 4.04852973271 105% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.38198757764 0.374372842146 102% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.288819875776 0.287516216867 100% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.198757763975 0.187439937562 106% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.139751552795 0.113142543107 124% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95052140469 2.5805825403 114% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 145.348785872 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.540372670807 0.539623497131 100% => OK
Word variations: 57.0150677212 53.8517498576 106% => OK
How many sentences: 16.0 13.0529801325 123% => OK
Sentence length: 20.125 21.7502111507 93% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.5309489921 49.3711431718 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.75 132.220823453 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.125 21.7502111507 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.0 0.878197800319 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 3.39072847682 324% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 49.0069875776 50.5018328374 97% => OK
Elegance: 1.58333333333 1.90840788429 83% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.367569903532 0.549887131256 67% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0977855079004 0.142949733639 68% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0616532102781 0.0787303798458 78% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.563333101855 0.631733273073 89% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.125218475305 0.139662658121 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.159824218262 0.266732575781 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0739823260659 0.103435571967 72% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.439253249708 0.414875509568 106% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0842515586382 0.0530846634433 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.274367698445 0.40443939384 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0447717283639 0.0528353158467 85% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 4.33554083885 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 4.45695364238 202% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.26048565121 47% => OK
Positive topic words: 2.0 3.49668874172 57% => OK
Negative topic words: 7.0 3.62251655629 193% => OK
Neutral topic words: 0.0 3.1766004415 0% => More neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 9.0 10.2958057395 87% => OK
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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations to cover all aspects.