Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours.
As human living in civilized societies, we are willing to do a job and spend their time more efficient as it is possible. A great number of people detest having unplanned and futile time in their lives. Some people prefer full their time by working, and working, but having equilibrium between their vocation and vacation is a hotspot in every individual's life. It has been hard to reach a consensus about which work hours could be practical and desirable for citizens. From my own vantage, I am firmly agreed with the idea and I will explicate my chief points through the following paragraphs.
To commence, the first exquisite reason that requires to be mentioned is that with three workdays, people can spend their spare time with their families. They allocate three days for their work and assign the rest of week to their families. For example, they can manage to have a trip, to go picnic in the countryside, to visit museums, to watch movies, to play game with each other. These activities help the members of family create an intimate relationship and unforgetful memories. In addition, nowadays by this approach and change, our families could be stronger and more indispensable.
Another significant reason why I am agree is that by converting five workdays to three ones, employees concentrate on their works when they are in office or company. Since, they have another time in order to do other ordinary or social duties. For example, my colleagues just focus on their projects a few time, they access to internet and abuse it such as, checking their emails, reading electronic newspaper, doing bank transaction, reserving hotel, buying theater or movie ticket, etc. Therefore, if they have some free days on the week, they will accomplish their duties and pay attention to their job.
The last but not the least reason justifying the claim is that having healthy life outweigh to other aspects of humans 'life. When people have free time, they arrange them to do some exercises such as walking, swimming, riding bicycles, and etc. which are beneficial for our health. To illustrate this concept, the noteworthy refreshingly intelligible statistics, revealed by a recently conducted social research, demonstrate that more than 70 percent of people living in America, who have four nonworking-days, are healthier and happier life due to their style life.
To make a long story short, creating balance between our job tasks and social ones is an important and unavoidable part of our life. But that was a story in a nutshell, there some reasons and examples, challenging the claim, which are not mentioned above. To wrap it up, I strongly recommend that government, hand in hand with, companies take a noticeable action and decision in order to find this equipoise in citizens' life.
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As human living in civilized societies,
As humans are living in the civilized societies,
we are willing to do a job and spend their time
we are willing to do a job and spend our time
they are willing to do a job and spend their time
why I am agree is that
why I agree is that
the noteworthy refreshingly intelligible statistics,
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
are healthier and happier life due to their style life
are healthier and happier due to their style life
Sentence: Some people prefer full their time by working, and working, but having equilibrium between their vocation and vacation is a hotspot in every individual's life.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to full and their
Sentence: These activities help the members of family create an intimate relationship and unforgetful memories.
Error: unforgetful Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
You didn't develop introduction and conclusion well. You may change the writing style for those two paragraphs.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 465 350
No. of Characters: 2263 1500
No. of Different Words: 262 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.644 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.867 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.603 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.474 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.354 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.421 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.278 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.044 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5