Modern life style mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they don’t get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. Do you agree or disagree?
Modern life style is the way from human attitude everyday that follow as development age. Where human community just concern how to get much money. Because they thought time is money and if they waste time it means they will loss much money. With money they can buy anything. They thought if they have everything, their social status in society will grow up and make other people can respect them.
At this time, everybody in the world competes to get much money. They don’t care if their will waste time only to get much money, especially the parents that have a children. It will make their children could not get affection and attention from their parents. The parents only think how to get much money and according them with money, they will be able to make their children happy. They are wrong, maybe with money we will be able to buy things but we can’t buy happiness. Happiness can only give with the affection and attention.
Different with the past time, where the parents particular to gave affection and attention to their children. Because they think, if they don’t gave affection and attention to their children maybe later after their children to be mature it will make their children attitude's will not be good. So that, they should give their children much time to gave affection and attention. Although only playing with their children. Because, the old man in the past thought that money can be found but the most important things is giving happiness to their children. Different with the parents at this time, they don’t think like that. That they think is money. How to get much money without thinking their children. They thought if they can get much money it will make their children happy by giving games. They don’t think if they always do like that, it makes their children can’t get affection and attention and will make their children attitude not to be better. They parents only thought with money they can buy anything include happiness, yet that is wrong.
In this case, i don’t think so. Because if the parents don’t gave their children affection and attention at the childhood, it makes the future and attitude their children not to be better. Because that the children needs is affection and attention from their parents. The children don’t need money. They need much time with their parents and it will make the children happy.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2015-01-04 | wahyudi fallah | 50 | view |
Sentence: Modern life style is the way from human attitude everyday that follow as development age.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to attitude and everyday
make other people can respect them.
make other people respect them.
if their will waste time
if they will waste time
where the parents particular to gave affection and attention to their children.
Description: what is the verb for this sentence?
if they don't gave affection
if they don't give affection
Sentence: Because, the old man in the past thought that money can be found but the most important things is giving happiness to their children.
Description: The fragment most important things is not usually followed by is
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace is with are
Sentence: They don't think if they always do like that, it makes their children can't get affection and attention and will make their children attitude not to be better.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and attitude
Sentence: They parents only thought with money they can buy anything include happiness, yet that is wrong.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to They and parents
Description: The fragment anything include happiness is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace include with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: Because if the parents don't gave their children affection and attention at the childhood, it makes the future and attitude their children not to be better.
Description: The fragment parents don ' is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace don with verb, past tense
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and affection
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 416 350
No. of Characters: 1905 1500
No. of Different Words: 131 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.516 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.579 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.146 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.407 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.156 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.407 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.392 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.505 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.201 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5