Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many inhabitant believe that the only solution to increase public health problem is by rising the plenty number of sport buildings such as gymnasium, sports hall, stadium, and many more. In contrast, other believe that it will only give minimum impact on public health and we have to pay more attention to other options. Basically, I agree wit adding number of sport buildings because many people love it very much, but it is also important that we should pay attention to other options, such as research and socialization activities.
The first thing that is important to note is that many people, especially in Indonesia, love sports very much. It is due to a lot of sport programs on TV channels. Moreover, it is an evidence that Indonesian people are like sports very much. Then, plenty numbers of sport competitions are held in big cities all around Indonesia with various kind of sports, such as football, badminton, and basketball. With this big attention to sports, increasing number of sport buildings will encourage them to do sport activities, so that it will improves the health of the society.
On the other hand, we can not close our eyes that we have to give concern to other activities for public health problem such as doing some research projects about it and then socialize the result of it. By this I mean, the government should also give plenty fund for public health research to know precisely what are the problem that can be solved in public health problems. For example, my friend is now doing a research about it and he could find out and solve nutrition problems which is part of public health problems. Then, he hopes that the government will pay more attention to research.
All in all, we have to make balance attention to both of sports and other activities.
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people are like sports very much
people like sports very much
problems which is part of public health problems
problems which are part of public health problems
Sentence: With this big attention to sports, increasing number of sport buildings will encourage them to do sport activities, so that it will improves the health of the society.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to will and improves
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 147 200
Be sensitive to use 'it'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 309 350
No. of Characters: 1444 1500
No. of Different Words: 147 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.193 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.673 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.436 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 104 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.769 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.377 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.39 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.606 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.239 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5