Working at home using computer and telephone is better than working in an office.

Essay topics:

Working at home using computer and telephone is better than working in an office.

People study hard at universities, expand their knowledge, carry out a wide variety of researches in order to gain valuable experinece so that they will be able to get their desirable careers in the future. When it comes to the job matter, controversy surrounds the issue of whether people should work at home through computers and telephones rather than in an office or not. Some people are of the opinion that being at work creates strong motivation among co-workers to do their jobs effectively. I believe, however, there are some essential reasons behind which illustrate why working at home would worth mentioning some words.

One of the most interesting aspects of the current discussion which demands a keen contemplation is that allocating more time for children contributes to a strong bond among family members.
One of the rigors of the modern life is that parents have spend the great proportion of their time at work and commuting between work and home in order to meet their children's financial needs. In other words, parents have to waste their time at least two hours a day for commuting due to heavy traffic congestion. In this case, being deprived of getting companionship, affection, and love from parents for children would be an undeniable fact. However, if parents do their jobs at home through the Internet, they can pay more attention to the children emotionally. For example, when a child encounters some problems and he does not know which solution is better, getting some advice offered by parents can facilitate such difficult situation for him. This aim will not be achievd unless parents become available any time when children need help. In fact, instead of getting involved in traffic congestion to get their work place, parents can save their time by taking their responsiblities such as doing projects at home.

Another noteworthy aspect of the ongoing discussion is that by doing task at home, we can protect our environment. When millions of people in a metropolitan cities go to work every day, they have to take taxi, drive their own private cars, or to take public transportation. This means burning huge emount of fuels such as gasoline which have detrimental effects on our health and air. On the other hand, if people stay ay home and do their tasks by telephone and other virtual ways of communication, air pollution and consequently global warming, and of course saving our natural resources for the next generation will occur.

To sum up, cementing relationship between parents and children and preserving our environment are the results of doing our jobs at home by the Net and telephone. I hope that all employers allow employees for having such work conditions.

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working at home would worth
working at home would be worth

in a metropolitan cities
in metropolitan cities

if people stay ay home and do their tasks by telephone and other virtual ways of communication, air pollution and consequently global warming, and of course saving our natural resources for the next generation will occur.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

Sentence: I believe, however, there are some essential reasons behind which illustrate why working at home would worth mentioning some words.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to would and worth

Sentence: One of the rigors of the modern life is that parents have spend the great proportion of their time at work and commuting between work and home in order to meet their children's financial needs.
Description: A verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to have and spend

Sentence: People study hard at universities, expand their knowledge, carry out a wide variety of researches in order to gain valuable experinece so that they will be able to get their desirable careers in the future.
Error: experinece Suggestion: experience

Sentence: This aim will not be achievd unless parents become available any time when children need help.
Error: achievd Suggestion: achieve

Sentence: In fact, instead of getting involved in traffic congestion to get their work place, parents can save their time by taking their responsiblities such as doing projects at home.
Error: responsiblities Suggestion: responsibilities

Sentence: This means burning huge emount of fuels such as gasoline which have detrimental effects on our health and air.
Error: emount Suggestion: mount

Sentence: On the other hand, if people stay ay home and do their tasks by telephone and other virtual ways of communication, air pollution and consequently global warming, and of course saving our natural resources for the next generation will occur.
Error: ay Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 451 350
No. of Characters: 2215 1500
No. of Different Words: 249 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.608 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.911 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.692 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.056 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.268 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.503 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5