Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A zoo has no useful purpose. Use specific reasons and examples to explain you answer.
Human is needs home to stay in from an outside environment and so does animals. Animals are important in human’s life. Because human eats animals, so animals should extinct. Animals needs place to sleep and protect body from rain. So, home is better choice. Therefore, I support a zoo like home for animals to protect their body from dangerous thing such as other wild animals, tiger, whale, zebra and so on.
First of all, zoo becomes place where all animals can stay in. They can eat whenever they want because there is person to nurture them. They also get healthy because he always consumes food in on time and drinks vitamins. Therefore, zoo is better place to keep and save them.
Secondly, zoo keeps them from hunter in forest. I know that forest in Indonesia has many kinds of wild animals such as tiger. Now, hunter wants and then sell them to seller. So, forest is not safe place for animals. It can make them extinct. If they had life in zoo, they will exist for few years.
Thirdly, zoo becomes visit-place in city. It can become asset to get profit for government. Many tourists from Canada, China, India comes to zoo to see animals who they never seen. For example, I live in bandung where is one zoo beside university. I always go to there when I was sat in pre-elementary school. I can see some birds that I never seen before such as camel, whale, tiger, dolphin, kind of birds, and so on. I can learn how they talk, act, and speak to other animals. It was very excited for me to see real-life-animal.
In conclusion, it is important to city to have zoo. More tourists will come to there, zoo’s life keeps healthy, and avoid them from hunter.
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Sentence: Human is needs home to stay in from an outside environment and so does animals.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to is and needs
Description: The word in is not usually used as an adverb, particle
Suggestion: Refer to in
Sentence: Because human eats animals, so animals should extinct.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to should and extinct
Sentence: Animals needs place to sleep and protect body from rain.
Description: The fragment Animals needs place is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace needs with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: They also get healthy because he always consumes food in on time and drinks vitamins.
Description: The tag a preposition is not usually followed by on
Suggestion: Refer to in and on
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2 (read gram books)
Avg. Sentence Length: 11.577 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.924 7.5
Need more compound or complex sentences
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 301 350
No. of Characters: 1302 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.165 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.326 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.187 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 72 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 51 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 19 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 13 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 11.577 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.924 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.493 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5