"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty."
The author's recommendation to use Adams realty for selling a home quickly and at a good price provides a powerful argument but would definitely require more thought and information.While the author's argument may be logical and probable there may be several hidden factors responsible for this stastistics.
First,no conclusion can be drawn about which firm is superior by comparing the revenue of 1 year.It may be possible that last year Fitch's revenue dropped down due to a certain reason and every year other than that Fitch's year revenue was always higher than Adam's.Moreover a real estate firm in not confined to the dealing of houses only.A real estate firm deals with various land properties including houses.It may be possible that Fitch sold more quantity of other properties than it sold houses. Thus by comparing the average revenue generated in a single year and revenue generated by selling just the houses no where provides a cogent argument to prove that Adams Realty is superior to Fitch Realty.
Second of all, the number of agents cannot be accounted to the success of a firm.The information that Adams Realty has more number of agents as compared to Fitch Realty cannot be used to draw that conclusion that Adams Realty is superior of the two.Though less but Fitch may have more efficient agents than Adams.It may be posssible that 25 part time agents of Fitch works more efficiently than 40 full time agents of Adams.
Moreover it may be possible that that the house author listed with Fitch was not providing as good deal as the later listed with Adams did.There may be many reasons behind this.For ex. it may be possible that the author kept the selling price of the house very high and thus it took time to attract some customer to purchase it,whereas he/she kept the price of the house listed with Adams relatively reasonable and thus attracted a customer faster.Another reason may be the condition of the two houses.Thus the author does not provide enough information to discern to the conclusion that Adams is superior to Fitch.
Thus, by examing different angles that may prove Fitch to be more superior than Adams,the argument provide enough information to reach to any conclusion.Though author's argument does highlight a possiblity it does not provide adequate information to draew any conclusion.
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Sentence: The author's recommendation to use Adams realty for selling a home quickly and at a good price provides a powerful argument but would definitely require more thought and information.While the author's argument may be logical and probable there may be several hidden factors responsible for this stastistics.
Error: stastistics Suggestion: statistics
Sentence: Second of all, the number of agents cannot be accounted to the success of a firm.The information that Adams Realty has more number of agents as compared to Fitch Realty cannot be used to draw that conclusion that Adams Realty is superior of the two.Though less but Fitch may have more efficient agents than Adams.It may be posssible that 25 part time agents of Fitch works more efficiently than 40 full time agents of Adams.
Error: posssible Suggestion: possible
Sentence: Thus, by examing different angles that may prove Fitch to be more superior than Adams,the argument provide enough information to reach to any conclusion.Though author's argument does highlight a possiblity it does not provide adequate information to draew any conclusion.
Error: examing Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: draew Suggestion: draw
Error: possiblity Suggestion: possibility
argument 1 -- not OK. Need to accept the data from the topic is true and then try to find loopholes.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- need to argue against 'Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. '
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 7 15
No. of Words: 404 350
No. of Characters: 1915 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.483 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.74 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.451 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 57.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 26.31 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.515 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.838 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.218 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5