The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
Conveniences of contemporary life are mainly the products of technology. By consuming energy, conveniences make the life easier for the people. We need oil to run our vehicles. We need electricity to turn on our computer, television, lamps, microwave, washing machine, and so on. Dependence of human being on the conveniences can be revealed clearly by the dependence of us on consuming the energy. Indeed, the overuse of the conveniences makes us dependent and weak in some respects, as the statement above asserts. Nowadays, by sitting in front of the television and ordering virtually everything via internet people do not promote physical activities. Due to this instance, obesity percentage in the United States of America, is rising and is pushing this country at the brink of a crisis.
Furthermore, luxuries are the product of consumerism. People buy expensive stuffs merely because it is a fashion. Consider those who unjustifiably pay for an Android phone or an iPhone. They pay hundreds of dollars to keep up with the fashion of having a luxurious cell phone while they are not using it proportional to the price they pay. Of course it is not bad to have a cutting edge cell phone. The problem is the unnecessary money paid each year after another year to buy such stuffs without any firm reason. Therefore, luxuries can render us weak in thinking about controlling our spending because of their fashionable attraction.
However, we should not make a scapegoat of conveniences or luxuries as they are just the human’s tools, the real culprit here is the lack of a decent culture to use these items, which is precluding us from being strong and independent. Whether the percentage of complacent people of this century is higher or lower, we cannot tell it for sure. But, those who do not challenge themselves, to activate their potentials, always seek ways not to bother themselves, with or without conveniences.
Consider Professor Samii. He lives in Germany in a convenient and luxurious house. He goes to work with a luxurious Mercedes-Benz automobile. But besides such a comfortable life, his surgeries take sometimes more than 10 hours, and such a strong man accomplishes them effectively. Neither the house, nor the luxury automobile prevented this person to become one of the main figures of influence among neurosurgeons. Hence, luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life are not harmful per se. The harm comes when we have a wrong attitude and an overreliance on these items.
In short, it is true that luxuries and conveniences are increasingly used in a damaging way to preclude us to develop a strong and independent character. However, this weakness is not due to these items as far as the lack of a decent usage culture is.
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flaws:
There is no introduction paragraph. The first paragraph is for Conveniences, and the second paragraph is for luxuries.
Still we suggest you follow this outline:
A. It is true that people everywhere ceaselessly pursue a luxurious and convenient life.
B. However, if young people indulge in the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life, they may lose the qualities of diligence, endurance, courage, curiosity, etc.
C. Only by taking challenges in life can one learn to become a strong and independent individual.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 457 350
No. of Characters: 2237 1500
No. of Different Words: 251 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.624 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.895 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.922 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.577 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.321 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.423 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.234 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.44 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5