The following is part of a memorandum from the president of Humana University.
"Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because instruction in the online programs takes place via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow, and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased along with our budget deficit. To address these problems, Humana University will begin immediately to create and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni. We predict that instituting these online degree programs will help Humana both increase its total enrollment and solve its budget problems."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The recommendation suggests that Humana University should emulate Omni to promote online degree programs to restore its enrollment problem and increased cost of maintaining buildings.To support the conclusion,that author cites that there was an increased number of students who enrolled in online degree program last yearand the expenses for living and classroom spaces has decreased at the same period of time in Omni.At the first glance of argument,the reasoning might seem to be reasonable while it is unpersuasive and suffers several flaws in nature.
Firstly,there is no statistical evidence about how many students pursuing online degree were enrolled last year.Although,it is entirely possible that students registered online programs were increasing for past several years,the argument relies on the assumption that Omni’s enrollment had not experienced any drop since it launched online programs.It is very possible that Omni’s enrollment had hit the bottom in the year before the year when increased enrollment on the students number of online programs information was collected.Therefore,the argument renders to be unconvincing.
Secondly,the author does not rule out other alternative explanation for decreased expenses of living and classroom space in Omni.Other regulations that Omni adopted, such as restrictions on electricity may contribute to an overall expenses on maintaining buildings.Furthermore,the assertion speculates that there is a correlation between a rise enrollment on online programs and a drop on maintaining expense.While it is not necessarily the case,considering that the enrollment of on-campus program might experienced a considerable drop because of Omni placed too much attention to advertise its online programs therefore its traditional program had been neglected.The overall drop in two sections of enrollment is reasonable to explain its decrease on maintaining buildings.
Thirdly,the author assumes that Humana and Omni have enough similar features that the same strategy worked out on Omni would definitely have the same affect on Humana.While,real life experience and common sense tell us,it is rarely the case.Humana might have prohibitive attendance fee,therefore less students would register to Humana especially there is another affordable university which provide the similiar facilities and researching,teaching qualities as Humana.The author does not consider what caused an increased fee on living and classroom spaces and what are the alternative solutions besides learning lessons from Omni.It is entirely possible that Humana has been constructing new buildings and dormitory to extend its community coverage,therefore to attract more students nearby by offering cheaper and safer on-camps housing.With respect to low rate of enrollment,during last three years,Humana might convert its university function to researched-biased track,thus,more expenses would be allocated on advancing the equipment of labs,furthermore,a low rate of enrollment is reasonable.
To sum up,the argument relies on several flawed assumptions which render the argument to be untenable as it stands.The author need to clarify the correlation between Humana and Omni to support its conclusion,To further justify the conclusion,the author need to consider what caused low enrollment and high maintenance for Humana from a big picture.
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Sentence: Thirdly,the author assumes that Humana and Omni have enough similar features that the same strategy worked out on Omni would definitely have the same affect on Humana.While,real life experience and common sense tell us,it is rarely the case.Humana might have prohibitive attendance fee,therefore less students would register to Humana especially there is another affordable university which provide the similiar facilities and researching,teaching qualities as Humana.The author does not consider
Error: similiar Suggestion: similar
argument 1 -- Not OK
argument 2 -- Not OK
argument 3 -- OK
flaws:
Need to consider all evidence or data are true and then try to find loopholes.
Always put a space after punctuation marks. Essay e-rater is sensitive.
read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/following-part-memorandum-preside…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 520 350
No. of Characters: 2837 1500
No. of Different Words: 244 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.775 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.456 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.912 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 239 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 181 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 141 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 93 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 52 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 28.284 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.9 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.406 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.689 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5