The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette."On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals.
" Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument attempts to expatiate on a solution to reduce accidents and casualties between mopeds and pedestrians in Balmer Island, more specific to the summer months. And substantiates this claim by identifying the increase in the population of mopeds by 100,000 during the summer. The author proposes a reduction in the amount of mopeds rented by the rental company of the island by 50% during the summer and corroborates the suggestion by citing a similar solution that was implemented in a neighboring island seaville that showed promising results.
Firstly, the author has identified the increased number of mopeds during the summer, but does not explain why it is so, but inherently dictates that the increased number would lead to increased accidents. It would be reckless to rush into constraining the moped rental company with halving the number of mopeds rented a day. This would be deleterious for business to the rental company without guaranteed positive results. The author should rather consider other solutions to the problem that could have more promising outcomes, such as increasing road safety monitoring and enforcement rules, reducing speed limits, increasing fine for reckless riders etc.
Secondly, the argument makes a connection to the neighboring island seaville and points out how the implementation of similar constraints in the neighboring town had positive outcomes and successfully reduces accident rates. But this does not guarantee same results in Balmer Island, there could be other justifications. Take for example the population of riders in both islands, it could be possible there were fewer riders in Seaville Island compared to Balmer Island or there is better enforcement and management of traffic rules and regulations on Island of Seaville or clearer weather (better vision) etc. The author should peruse over the various factors that could cause for moped accidents and how to tackle them.
Thirdly, it could be asserted that there would likely be a significant population of moped riders that own their mopeds and do not rent them from the rental company of the island or even if they don’t own a moped they could rent from other towns or rental services apart from the islands own. As mentioned earlier limiting renting numbers, would cause for a loss in revenue accrued from moped renting and may not even end up having the desired accident control outcome expected.
In conclusion I would articulate that the author has not carried out a scrupulous analysis in to the consequence of his suggestion and its effectiveness. The author should carry out a detailed analysis by inviting expertise in accident control and traffic enforcement agencies to suggest better solutions.
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- The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette."On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involv 50
argument 1 -- NOT OK. You should not refer something new, like 'This would be deleterious for business to the rental company without guaranteed positive results.'
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not exactly.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 435 350
No. of Characters: 2256 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.567 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.186 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.763 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 194 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.071 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.494 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.355 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.635 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.149 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5