An ancient, traditional remedy for insomnia—the scent of lavender flowers—has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored electronically. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. At the beginning of the second week, the volunteers discontinued their sleeping medication. During that week, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. Therefore, the study proves that lavender cures insomnia within a short period of time.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The aforementioned argument is well-presented and appears to be relatively cogent at first glance: since the study shows that volunteers were slept longer and more soundly at the end of the third week, it seems plausible to conclude that lavender-scented pillows is effective to cure insomnia. However, as more light is shed on the issue and more detailed facts are concerned, the lack of evidence leads me to question the validity of the argument.
First of all, the author needs to provide more solid evidence whether the effect of the lavender-scented pillows are equivalent to the effect of lavender flower. Without more concrete information, the author hastily believes that the lavender-scented pillows will effectively cure the chronic insomnia. However, it is possible that although the scent of lavender flower is helpful remedy for insomnia, the lavender-scented pillows would not be as beneficial for insomnia as the lavender flower itself. In such a case, it is illogical to argue the lavender-scented pillows were beneficial for those volunteers, and therefore, the author’s conclusion can be weakened.
In addition, the author needs to supplement the argument with more information whether the result of the study can be taken at face value. Since the volunteers slept longer and more soundly during the third week than in the previous two weeks, the author rashly assumes that lavender-scented pillows have cured the participants. However, the author should take account of other factors that might lead the volunteers to slept longer and more soundly. For instance, since the second week, those volunteers were discontinued to consume sleeping medication, and as a result, they were not able to sleep soundly and wakened more tired. Due to lack of sleep, the volunteers could possibly slept more soundly and longer during the third week. If this would be the case, the study result cannot be reliable. Thus, more information should be needed to attest the credibility of the study.
Lastly, more significant evidence is necessary on the soundness of the conclusion that lavender cures insomnia within a short period of time. Granted, the participants slept longer and more soundly on the third week, so that it seems to prove the effectiveness of the lavender to insomnia. However, the author should consider that no information on the tiredness of these volunteers were provided, and if they were still waken feeling fatigue, it is unsound to claim that the insomnia was cured. In addition, the study only lasted for three weeks, and if participants would continuously experience insomnia after the third week, it is not cogent to conclude that lavender cures insomnia. Therefore, the author should corroborate the validity of the conclusion by providing more information on the long-term effect of lavender cure and tiredness of patients.
The argument is not persuasive in many respects. To bolster the argument, the author should provide more valid evidence mentioned above.
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Comments
could you please explain why
could you please explain why the first argument is not okey?
if I am editing it to like one below, does it make sense?
"Although the results of the study are credible, it cannot be stated that lavender itself is effective. In other words, the scent of lavender flowers cannot be generalized as lavender itself."
Both are talking about the
Both are talking about the scent of lavender flowers, look:
'An ancient, traditional remedy for insomnia—the scent of lavender flowers'
'for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows'
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You can argue that it works in a controlled room, it may not work at a home environment.
argument 1 -- not OK.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/folk-remedy-insomni…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 476 350
No. of Characters: 2463 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.671 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.174 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.893 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 180 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 102 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.588 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.85 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.38 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.585 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5