Some people think that all the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives, (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.
We have witnessed many crimes in modern society. It is argued that all of the lawbreakers should be sent to jail, while others think that there are better alternative choices for lawbreakers to amend themselves. In my opinion, these statements are reasonable.
It is certainly true that lawbreakers should be taken into the prison for some reasons. One of the reasons is that this policy can to protect the inhabitants of cities. Lawbreakers usually commit crimes that will bring harms to the others such as stealing and robbing. By sending crime offenders to prisons, it can ensure that the society safety. As a result, citizens subsequently would feel that the society is peaceful and secured. Another reason is that this action reduce the crime rate. By strictly imposing punishment to criminals, it will decrease the level of crime rate because it has deterrent effects. Consequently, people would give up the thought of committing crimes.
However, there are opposing voices saying that there are better ways to solve this problems. To begin with, the government should offer jobs to criminals. Re-offenders, in most cases, are struggling with extremely limited income in their lives. Given secured jobs and reasonable payments, they naturally can learn some practical skills such as computer skills. Therefore, they will not risk their liberty because they live like ordinary residents with sufficient income. Apart from this, the government should provide free education to them. Due to leak of educating in the past, perpetrators were unable to judge what was right and wrong things to do. Being significantly educating, they will become good members and will not return to crime.
In conclusion, although some people think that all the criminal offenders should be imprisoned, I still think that it will not solved the problems. However, if the government is able to provide free education to lawbreakers, this will give them a second chance in life.
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Sentence: Another reason is that this action reduce the crime rate.
Description: The fragment action reduce the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace reduce with verb, past tense
Sentence: However, there are opposing voices saying that there are better ways to solve this problems.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and problems
it will not solved the problems.
it will not solve the problems.
Sentence: Re-offenders, in most cases, are struggling with extremely limited income in their lives.
Description: The fragment most cases , is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
flaws:
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns or not to use pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence. Look:
they naturally can learn some practical skills such as computer skills. Therefore,
they will not risk their liberty because
they live like ordinary residents with sufficient income.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 316 350
No. of Characters: 1601 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.216 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.066 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.59 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.048 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.038 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.257 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.431 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.042 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5