The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.
The two diagrams show the water usage for diverse necessities in society during the 20th century with a further particularity in Brazil and Congo in 2000.
According to the data given by the graph and the table, it can be clearly seen that agriculture consumes more amounts of water than other sections overall.
Having an analysis by units of cubic meters, every sector has gradually increased in water use between 1900 and 2000. At the beginning of the last century, the industrial and domestic use tend to zero m^3 while consumption in farming was 500 m^3. After 50 years, the production consumed more water than households with 50 m^3. Meanwhile, agriculture has doubled the water amount. At the end of 20th century, the farming water usage reached over 3 thousand m^3, one-third represents the industrial sector and one-sixth the domestic ones.
One thing to point out is the major difference between water usage in both countries. As Brazil has more people than the Democratic Republic of Congo, it is expected the water consumption on irrigated land and per person to be greater.
In conclusion, the prospect of water use can reflect a breakdown of water resource.
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flaws:
Don't need two paragraphs for conclusion: the second paragraph and the fifth paragraph.
read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-essays/graph-and-table-belo…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 196 200
No. of Characters: 949 1000
No. of Different Words: 116 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.742 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.842 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.628 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 63 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 53 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 36 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.576 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.2 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.413 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.413 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.068 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 4