To what extent do you agree that countries benefit from international tourism?
It is concerned by many that international tourism has many effects for countries. It is agree that for some countries it has advantages. Local people can maintain and grow their own business and more job opportunities could be created as well.
Firstly, globe travelling business is able to increase local business. The core reason of this is that many local shops could face a bottleneck which is hard to grow the market because customers are limited based on the local population. International tourism, on the other hand, can fit this gap because it can bring hundred thousands clients for the local stores and this will raise the business directly. For example, in Australia, the Gold Coast, the number of local chain restaurants increases dramatically because of the globe visitors.
In addition, a great number of working positions will be provided based on international tourism business. The main reason about it is that most of travellers would like to stay in the hotel, which means that the specific city would build more hotels for theses particular customers. As result, these hotels could create a variety of blank positions for local people, such as manager, chief, cleaners and drivers. For instance, in Beijing, investing a a new four starts hotel will create approximately two hundred job opportunities.
In conclusion, local business such as shops and restaurants will have a considerable growth because international tourism could increase the number of customers as well as globe travelling will provide more job opportunities indirectly. Therefore, the public and community are able to gain advantages and benefits from the international tourism.
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It is agree that
It is agreed that
a bottleneck which is hard to grow the market
You mean: a bottleneck is hard to grow the market ? or the market is in a bottleneck which is hard to grow?
flaws:
1. No. of Different Words: 137 200
2. Since the topic is 'To what extent do you agree...', so you don't need to 100% support. You can put some disadvantages too. try this pattern:
paragraph 1: introduction. Your ideas/opinions here.
paragraph 2: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side A. First, ... Second, ...
paragraph 3: However, still I support side B. reason 1 + why reason 1 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 4: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example + a small conclusion for this paragraph.
paragraph 5: conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 265 350
No. of Characters: 1373 1500
No. of Different Words: 137 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.035 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.181 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.841 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 95 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.385 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.692 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.58 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5