Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author concludes that Pirouettes Ballet school is the best choice for children. He supports his claim by citing the fact that Pirouettes have the most intensive program of all the schools in Elmtown and teachers and students who have danced with top dance companies. Whilst this argument may seem plausible at first glance, closer inspection reveals that there are many questions that need to
be addressed.
First and foremost, the author does not provide any information as to the overall quality of Pirouettes program. Just because a program is intensive does not necessarily mean that it is good as there are many other factors that come into play. For example, the University of Virginia has a very intensive school program however one may think twice before sending their children there as UVa have fallen short in many aspects. In just a short period of time There has been increasing discord between President Teressa and the board of visitors, a plague of rape scandals as well as a spate of student killings. Thus whilst they have an intensive program, it may not be the best choice for all children.
Secondly, there is also no information about the quality of its teachers. Just becasue their teachers have danced in prestigious programs does not necessarily make them make them good teachers. For example, my father has been driving for at least twenty years and could probably drive with his eyes closed at this point however he cannot teach a dog how to bark. My driving lessons with him were horrible and even though we spent months together I was no closer to getting my license. Eventually we had to hire a professional instructor and within a week I was ready to take my driver's exam. Thus the author's recommendation would be strengthened if he provided information as to what qualifications his teachers had and how these qualifications would benefit children in the program.
Lastly, before the recommendation can be evaluated one must find out how many students of other dance schools have gone on to become professional dancers. The author claims that many of Pirouettes students have gone on to become professional but he does not state how this relates to other schools. for example lets say that five of Pirouttes students become professionals (whilst this may certainly be alot) what if there is another dance school with six or seven professional students.
In conclusion, there is too little information to make a claim as bold as that of the author's as key elements of the discussion are left out. One must have knowledge of all the essential elements of a situation before statements can be made.
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Sentence: Just becasue their teachers have danced in prestigious programs does not necessarily make them make them good teachers.
Error: becasue Suggestion: because
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argument 1 -- not exactly
argument 2 -- not exactly
argument 3 -- not exactly
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flaws:
You can't use external examples to support the arguments. read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/pirouettes-ballet-school-clear-ch…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 445 350
No. of Characters: 2155 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.593 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.843 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.68 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.722 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.666 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.553 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.16 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5