Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Success comes from possessing money and power Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Success comes from possessing money and power. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Apparently, everyone wants to be successful in his/her life because that is the goal of one’s life. Money and power make difference in human’s life but not as do by happiness and hard work. Some people may believe that success comes from possessing money and power. However, I do not agree with that statement because all success which we get in our life is just because hard work. I think this because of following reasons.

First, to get success it’s necessary to stay positive during your life journey. You have to be optimistic to reach to your goal. If you do not be patient then, your money and power are meaningless. For example, two years ago, Bollywood actor named Jiya Khan did suicide in her apartment in Mumbai. She was brilliant actor; she achieved fame in age of 25. She wanted to be successful in Bollywood and Hollywood industries. She had lots of money and she was daughter of judge so, obviously, she had power too. However, after doing few movies, she did not get a single offer for movies. She was desperately wanted one. She was suffering from depression and was taking anti-depressive medications. Moreover, she was not optimistic at all; she spoiled her relationship with her boyfriend because she couldn’t able to control her stress. On one evening, she tied her shelf to the ceiling fan. She wrote suicide note that she did this because she could not able to achieve her success. If she would stay positive then she might be alive in this beautiful world. I learnt from this incidence, its more important to stay positive towards your life to get success.

Second, hard work is a key for success. Nothing can replace with hard work, if you want to achieve success there is no shortcut or alternate route. You must have to do it in order to be successful. For example, I remember back in 2000, my cousin started his bachelor in Pharmacy in India. He was not intelligent but he still wanted to get the Pharmacy license. When he applied for his admission, he rejected by it. My uncle, he is a very powerful business person, so he paid some amount to the university in black and they gave him admission. My cousin, he was not attending his classes and was enjoying in the cafeteria with his friends. He was not doing study at all. However, he got his score in the college exam by paying money to the professor. When time for final exams came, he could not able to write paper well. Additionally, he could not pay for it, because board authority arranged the final exam. Therefore, he failed in his first semester. After he got his result, he decided to quit his study and he did. If he did hard work for it, he might able to achieve his degree. He was depended on money and power, which are not keys for success.

To wrap up all, I strongly believe that success does not come from possessing money and power. It comes from hard work and from positive attitude to determine your goal of success. It is good to use money and power but hard work is equally important consideration for success.

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She was brilliant actor
She was a brilliant actor

its more important to stay
it's more important to stay

he rejected by it.
he was rejected by it.

He was depended on money and power
He was dependent on money and power

is equally important consideration for success.
is an equally important consideration for success.

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 39 15
No. of Words: 543 350
No. of Characters: 2395 1500
No. of Different Words: 248 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.827 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.411 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.384 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.923 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.317 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.564 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.282 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.435 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.298 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5