A/D: Students should study music and art.
Views differ considerably when it comes to the issue of whether the students should study music and art. Some people contend that students study music and art can help them relax, while others assert that students do that can waste their time. However, my personal experience and actual observations of life have led me to conclude that student should not study music and art. The reasons are stated as follow.
First of all, students are busy and studying music and art can waste their precious time. For example, in Taiwan, the students have heavy schoolwork, they even have no more time to participate in the extra-curricular activities. Also, Taiwanese evaluate whether students are good students or not by scores of transcripts. As a result, students make the use of their leisure time to fulfill school’s homework and place more important on how to get higher scores.
Secondly, students in the school should put emphasis on academic performance, and studying the music and art can prevent them from focusing on their major. Take my friend Joe for example. He is a well-rounded individual on different aspects. Nevertheless, one day he took part in the course of music and he was addicted to playing guitar. Accordingly, he practiced everyday to improve the guitar skills and neglected the essence of why students go to school.
Last but not least, students are poor and payment of studying art and music is too expensive for students. For instance, in Taiwan, average of annul incomes is too low to afford family to support every students to study music and art. Also, art painting and music composing cost much more than you think. On the other hand, if students study music and art, they may have no more money to pay for their needs of life. Thus, I believe that students are not necessary to study music and art.
To conclude, as mentioned above, students should not study music and art, so it may seems to be reasonable due to time consuming, academic performance, and economic consideration. Consequently, I think that students study music and art is not indispensable.
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students study music and art can help them relax,
students' study on music and art can help them relax,
students do that can waste their time
students who do that can waste their time
students are busy and studying music and art can waste their precious time.
Description: two verbs in one sentence. can you re-write this sentence?
students study music and art is not indispensable.
Description: two verbs in one sentence. can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: To conclude, as mentioned above, students should not study music and art, so it may seems to be reasonable due to time consuming, academic performance, and economic consideration.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to may and seems
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 352 350
No. of Characters: 1682 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.331 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.778 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.597 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.375 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.85 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.384 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.185 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5