The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.
"Recently, there have been discussions about ending Grove College's century-old tradition of all-female education by admitting male students into our programs. At a recent faculty meeting, a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. However, Grove students, both past and present, are against the idea of coeducation. Eighty percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumnae who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Therefore, we recommend maintaining Grove College's tradition of all-female education. We predict that keeping the college all-female will improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The president and administrative staff of Grove College (GC) assert that GC should adhere to its tradition and preserve all-female format of education. The authors of the recommendation aver that this step will inevitably lead to enhancement of moral among students and convincing graduate student keep supporting GC financially. This recommendation is backed up by several evidences; however, does the group of author's manage to build a sound argument? To answer on this question these evidences will be carefully scrutinized below.
The recommendation maintains that 80 per cent of current students are opposing the alteration of format. Perhaps, many of incoming students who are studying at GC have chosen this education institution because of all-female format of education. However, how the all-female education impacts on moral of students, probably, the students fail to develop their moral standards due to the fact that their surrounding does not reflect actual structure of society. In fact, these students may lose some valuable experience of interaction with males. In this case, authors position that keeping GC all-female education leads to improvement of students' moral is unwarranted. Moreover, the president and the staff of GC do not show how this support of current students is connected with author's conclusion that moral among students will be improved. In fact, if nothing is altered, why any change should take place? The recommendation could have been stronger had the writers demonstrated the connection between the students' support of the tradition and the moral of them. Till we are not given such information, the conclusion seems to be unwarranted.
Moreover, the argument avers that a majority of the alumnae wants to maintain GC all-female format. The writers of the argument claim that support of the graduate students is important because they buttress the college financially. At the same time, may we accept that majority's opinion is crucial for financial success of the college? Perhaps, graduate students who oppose coeducation give no money to GC. Or if the GC changes the format and starts to admit men as well as women, the financial support of alumnae will skyrocket. The authors of the recommendation might have made this argument stronger in case, they demonstrate the connection between majority of alumane's and finaincial support of the college.
In conclusion, despite the fact that writers of the argument give us some evidences, they do not manage to create a strong argument.
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Sentence: The authors of the recommendation might have made this argument stronger in case, they demonstrate the connection between majority of alumane's and finaincial support of the college.
Error: finaincial Suggestion: financial
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argument 1 -- you: perhaps, many of incoming students who are studying at GC have chosen this education institution because of all-female format of education.
better:
maybe many of incoming students (not registered) are against the female only policy.
argument 2 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 398 350
No. of Characters: 2088 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.467 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.246 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.914 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 140 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 99 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.024 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.484 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5