In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Nowadays, in developed countries for example, people who over 30 years on ages have significant average weight which is increasing in the certain period. Healthiness and fitness activities are being ignored by some people which influenced by some factors. Most people thought that world has been developed in everything such as technology, food and beverages variances, and media which related to those issues. In any instances, those factors have significant impact to increasing people’s weight and also their healthiness.
Overweight people are tend to have more routines to eat in over capacity. Lifestyle and consumptive behaviour become the main reason which literally control their bad habit on food consumption. They prefer to eat some kind of unmainstream such as junk food and any unhealthy routines such as smoking or drinking alcohol. In any cases, overweight people also tend to had less exercise of some oudoor activities. However, the value and understanding about health as a whole cannot be achieved if they just stay at home.
The overweight groups must guided by people around them to spread awareness about health. We have responsibilty to give them the best advice through education about healthiness matters. These people have to do some fitness activities everyday to built a better metabolism and immune system in their body. These group also have to know about nutrition information which can motivate them to be healthier than before. Media also may become the best tools to spread the information which they need.
In conclusion, government have to give their contribution to triggered these group to be healthy. In some matters, it also become government’s goals to make their citizen keep being healthy in order to avoiding any kind of disease.
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people who over 30 year
people who are over 30 year
Sentence: Healthiness and fitness activities are being ignored by some people which influenced by some factors.
Description: A WH-determiner is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to which and influenced
Most people thought that world has been developed
Most people thought that the world has been developed
which related to those issues.
which are related to those issues.
Sentence: Most people thought that world has been developed in everything such as technology, food and beverages variances, and media which related to those issues.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to beverages and variances
Sentence: Overweight people are tend to have more routines to eat in over capacity.
Description: The fragment are tend to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace tend with adjective
Sentence: Lifestyle and consumptive behaviour become the main reason which literally control their bad habit on food consumption.
Description: The fragment behaviour become the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace become with verb, past tense
Sentence: In any cases, overweight people also tend to had less exercise of some oudoor activities.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', past tense
Suggestion: Refer to to and had
Sentence: The overweight groups must guided by people around them to spread awareness about health.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to must and guided
Sentence: These people have to do some fitness activities everyday to built a better metabolism and immune system in their body.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and built
Sentence: In conclusion, government have to give their contribution to triggered these group to be healthy.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and triggered
Sentence: In any cases, overweight people also tend to had less exercise of some oudoor activities.
Error: oudoor Suggestion: outdoor
Sentence: We have responsibilty to give them the best advice through education about healthiness matters.
Error: responsibilty Suggestion: responsibility
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
Read a good grammar book.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 283 350
No. of Characters: 1463 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.102 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.17 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.701 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.688 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.72 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.551 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5