Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 6: Agree or disagree? Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children.
Handling everyday tasks and having fun play a decisive role in providing amenity and comfort. This often brings up a controversial question: How the life convenience has changed since our grandparents lived or from many years ago? In this regard, some people are inclined toward the opinion that life is getting easier and easier whereas others hold exactly the opposite perspective. I firmly agree with the first group since the great technological advances in performance of duties, diversity of entertainments, and transportation facilities bring in convenience in lifestyle. What follows is elaboration of my viewpoint.
One important reason that supports my point of view is that technology advances leads to swift operation and higher welfare. Technological changes help people fulfill their duties quickly and easily so that they will have more time to spare on other issues and gain more income. For example, modern publishers print more issues in less time than the old ones did in the past. The more the newspapers are published, the more they are sold and the more the income is gained. Recent changes in lifestyle made by technological progress will result in higher welfare and easier and more comfortable life in comparison to the past.
As mentioned in the previous paragraph, huge advances in technology have changed people's lives dramatically. In this regard, entertainment is an important aspect that has been affected, which in turn brings more convenient lifestyle with less stress for people. Recreational technologies are diverse and still in progress. The wide range of entertainment products, including movies, music, television, computer games, online Internet entertainments, smart toys, learning tools, robots and the like cover different interests and are available to everybody nowadays. They make people feel relaxed. Therefore, people have easier and more comfortable life nowadays.
The last but not least reason is that development in transportation facilities has rendered the commutes simpler. That is to say, people commute to work in a few minutes using facilities such as train, bus, and personal cars even if the distance is too far. Many years ago, people used to travel by chariots and coaches which took a long time but the advanced and rapid transportation vehicles has made commuting and traveling far easier. Nowadays, the subway, bus, airplane, and the like lead to a fast and easy transportation.
Decisively, if one compares the comfort, amenity, and the amount of diversion in the present and past, one soon realizes that changes in lifestyle is significant. Convenience and speed in accomplishment of duties, diversity in amusements, and fast transportation brings calmness, relaxation and higher welfare to everybody. Nowadays, everyone is looking forward to an easy, comfortable, calm, and relaxing lifestyle in comparison to their past, not to mention when their grandparents lived.
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How the life convenience has changed...?
How has the life convenience changed...?
technology advances leads to swift operation
technology advances lead to swift operation
vehicles has made commuting and traveling far easier
vehicles have made commuting and traveling far easier
Convenience and speed in accomplishment of duties, diversity in amusements, and fast transportation brings calmness
Convenience and speed in accomplishment of duties, diversity in amusements, and fast transportation bring calmness
Sentence: The last but not least reason is that development in transportation facilities has rendered the commutes simpler.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to the and commutes
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.036 0.07
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 456 350
No. of Characters: 2416 1500
No. of Different Words: 248 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.621 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.298 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.95 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 181 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 135 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 105 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 69 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.826 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.394 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.435 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.269 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.036 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5