Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary brings to a better life.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The major purpose of pursuing education is to get the proper job. Some prefer to do the job that make them feel enjoy to do it, on the other hand some believe that a good salary makes a joyful life. On my opinion, I strongly agree with the first opinion . This essay aims to explore more about those views and explore in detail about my own opinion.
People nowadays face very urgent problem in founding the exact job for themselves. The increasing number of educated people is not match with the limited existance job fields. The high number of rivals and the limited seat for the job seeker make people apply to other field although that fields are not their major or passion. They prefer to choose the high paid career than the major their love. Although they get a good salary, it does not mean they live the better life. In reality, there are a lot of people who gets a good salary and high career position but they live in measerable life, such as they can gather with their family and they have to divorce with their partner. It indicates that money can not determine the better life.
Besides some argue that it is better to have the more enjoyable job than the high paid job, because someone who does their job with heart will do everything passionately. These people argue about the enjoyable job are people who understand about their passion and their mission in their life. They know about their skill and capability and they totally understand about their action to fulfill their self satisfaction. They tend to do their job perfectly because they put their heart and mind into it. And there is no prove that the enjoyable job can not produce much money, we can see someone who gave up his job because he wants to pursue his passion and then he succeds.
I am certain that people with passion will put their whole mind and energy toward their job, so that they never look their job as a burden. They can enjoy every little steps of their action and do their job perfectly. This kind of job will lead them to be a better career and the better life.
To sum up, it is important to understand our passion because it will lead us to find the proper job and get the better life. Because money is not everything, the most important thing in life is to enjoy every little act of ourselves that will lead us to be the better person.
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| 2016-03-01 | websterpreparation | 60 | view |
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The increasing number of educated people is not match with the limited existance job fields.
The increasing number of educated people does not match the limited instantiating job fields.
people who gets a good salary
people who get a good salary
These people argue about the enjoyable job are people
Description: two verbs in one sentence. can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: They prefer to choose the high paid career than the major their love.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to major and their
Sentence: In reality, there are a lot of people who gets a good salary and high career position but they live in measerable life, such as they can gather with their family and they have to divorce with their partner.
Description: The fragment a lot of is not usually preceded by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Sentence: The increasing number of educated people is not match with the limited existance job fields.
Error: existance Suggestion: existence
Sentence: In reality, there are a lot of people who gets a good salary and high career position but they live in measerable life, such as they can gather with their family and they have to divorce with their partner.
Error: measerable Suggestion: measurable
Sentence: And there is no prove that the enjoyable job can not produce much money, we can see someone who gave up his job because he wants to pursue his passion and then he succeds.
Error: succeds Suggestion: success
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Words: 429 while No. of Different Words: 182
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 429 350
No. of Characters: 1873 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.551 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.366 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.045 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 31 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.192 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.381 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5