You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live. What is one thing you will do to improve your community? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.
People nowadays so focus on earning a living that they forget about their health. I couldn’t stand this fact so I want to do do something for them voluntarily. I would love to create a fitness club at the park in my neighborhood and spend a considerable amount of time helping others to train. I feel this way for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, health plays an important role in our lives so I want to inspire people to workout to keep fit. Most people, in my opinion, don’t take working out seriously. They always follow a permanent daily timetable: go to work in the morning and come back home watching TV or spending their free time on social networks at night. They keep making excuses that they don’t have time to train but if they are willing to do so, they can spend less time in their unbeneficial hobby to do some workout. My own experience is a good example. I used to be overweight. After going to school, I always played video games and I was not different than a couch potato. Since I was diagnosed with diabetes, I stopped making excuses, changed my routine completely and started to spend approximately two hours a day for training such as running or doing bodyweight exercises. Consequently, I lost 20 kilograms in 1 year and my health has improved tremendously. I feel that if I can change, others can too.
Furthermore, training in the park creates an opportunity for us to enjoy the nature. Many people tend to forget to go out to breath in the fresh air or just simply watching beautiful flowers in the park. Moreover, the fresh air in suburban areas is in tragedy because of exhaust fumes from vehicles on the street, numerous factories. We should take every chance we have to be in with the nature, by going to the park to exercise. As I mentioned above, I had to work out a lot to lose weight. Every day I went to the park and ran. Not until then did I realize how beautiful and mesmerizing the nature was. I enjoyed the fresh air that I hardly found because I live in the city, I loved to see kids leaving their cellphones at home to have fun at the playground. I want to make other people feel that way.
In conclusion, I would rather start a training club at the local park for everyone. This is because it is important to maintain a good health and I want others to get out of their social lives on the internet and to blend in with the nature.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-05-07 | evanlu | 3 | view |
| 2018-05-22 | Elena Cristina | 83 | view |
| 2017-09-30 | mojtaba_aam | 14 | view |
| 2017-07-29 | mahabub | 60 | view |
| 2017-03-22 | Evgeniya | 3 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 123, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: do
...I couldn’t stand this fact so I want to do do something for them voluntarily. I would...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 296, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...mount of time helping others to train. I feel this way for two reasons which I w...
^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...will explore in the following essay. To begin with, health plays an important...
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Line 3, column 645, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...yed video games and I was not different than a couch potato. Since I was diagnosed w...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hat if I can change, others can too. Furthermore, training in the park create...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to make other people feel that way. In conclusion, I would rather start a tr...
^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'if', 'moreover', 'so', 'then', 'i feel', 'in conclusion', 'such as', 'in my opinion', 'to begin with']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.195519348269 0.229887763892 85% => OK
Verbs: 0.197556008147 0.158761421928 124% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0672097759674 0.0866891130778 78% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0427698574338 0.046263068375 92% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0957230142566 0.0685040099705 140% => OK
Prepositions: 0.118126272912 0.118717715034 100% => OK
Participles: 0.0346232179226 0.0351676179071 98% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.5935122751 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Infinitives: 0.061099796334 0.0309702414327 197% => Less infinitives wanted.
Particles: 0.0061099796334 0.00188951952338 323% => Less particles wanted.
Determiners: 0.0773930753564 0.0887237588012 87% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0142566191446 0.0209618222197 68% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0040733197556 0.0139019557991 29% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2445.0 2387.08602151 102% => OK
No of words: 449.0 408.028673835 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.44543429844 5.86048508987 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.48200974243 103% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.28285077951 0.338922669872 83% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.207126948775 0.251872472559 82% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.122494432071 0.174417080927 70% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0824053452116 0.112833075102 73% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5935122751 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527839643653 0.524397521467 101% => OK
Word variations: 61.3720535013 59.2087087015 104% => OK
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6684587814 121% => OK
Sentence length: 17.96 20.5533526081 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.2603761334 48.84282405 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.8 120.699889404 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.96 20.5533526081 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.48 0.644075263715 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.54480286738 108% => OK
Readability: 38.6726948775 45.7405998639 85% => OK
Elegance: 1.03636363636 1.45489161554 71% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.283993852983 0.300154397459 95% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0572182080165 0.103427244359 55% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.055546162495 0.0752933317313 74% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.428233471165 0.497263757937 86% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.174318262223 0.151897553556 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101882669236 0.114077575197 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0706652161623 0.0781384742642 90% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.424321372727 0.336927656856 126% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.065802330036 0.067059652881 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.207596191814 0.210909579961 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0290259585669 0.0618886996521 47% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8870967742 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.86379928315 155% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.91756272401 102% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 8.42114695341 107% => OK
Negative topic words: 5.0 2.4623655914 203% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.75985663082 181% => OK
Total topic words: 19.0 13.6433691756 139% => OK
--------------------------
Rates: 70 out of 100
Scores by essay E-rater: 21 Out of 30