People are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.
The life is a voyage. Destinations open up new meanings, reveals new horizons and in this journey of life people do pass away from different phaces , infancy, childhood, adulthood and old age. I believe that people are living longer now because of two important reasons.
The main reason is that, the perception of the people is improved. The life in the past was really simple, even the way of thinking of the people was easy and simple. They didn't imagine the results of many things they did in their daily life. in the past the healthy programs were less than today, furthermore, the people wasn't taking care of their healthy diet or life. On the other hand , these days, people attention is increased about the healthiest life, and how they can search the best way to live better, by watching programs talk about how they can choose food with multipule vitamins and minerals. For example, my parents watch a program called Green Apple. And from the first time , they change their attitude Away from bad and fast food. In addition, such programs describe the result of eating bad food and what are the side effects on our bodies. So the people care about green life increases which results in reducing many diseases that were found in the past, and now, they are living longer. As we can see how with the fast changing world , the people become more healthy.
The second reason is that, medical advanecement. With the modernization of the world and significant advance in medicine and science, many diseases are gone because of improvement in medicines and researches that lead to get rid of many un treatable diseases thet were invaded the life in the past. For example, three weeks ago, I saw a movie for famous singer in my country, and how he was very successful in his life , in addition, he was so popular and every body in my country loved him. Then we he was 40 years old , a disease attacked him. The movie describes the singer's life when the disease attacked him, and how he suffered a lot. the doctors couldn't stop his bleeding and they couldn't treat him because they weren't as knowledgable as the doctors of these days. Then at the end of the movie he dead. It was really sad story. This experience taught me that, with advanecement in the knowledge nothing be difficult to solve and that's why people are living longer now.
In conclusion, according to the arguments mention above, the people are living longer now, because their way of thinking is changed toward a healthy life. Moreover, the advanecement in discoveries of medicine get rid from many diseases that attacked the people in the past. We all should follow a healthy life by eating good and doing excersises and when we use this way we will never regret it.
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- TPO 20 – Integrated 70
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- tpo 20 60
Destinations open up new meanings, reveals new horizons
Destinations open up new meanings, and reveal new horizons
Sentence: On the other hand , these days, people attention is increased about the healthiest life, and how they can search the best way to live better, by watching programs talk about how they can choose food with multipule vitamins and minerals.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and attention
The second reason is that, medical advanecement.
The second reason is medical advancement.
because of improvement in medicines
because of the improvement in medicines
It was really sad story
It was a really sad story
Sentence: Then at the end of the movie he dead.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to he and dead
Sentence: Destinations open up new meanings, reveals new horizons and in this journey of life people do pass away from different phaces , infancy, childhood, adulthood and old age.
Error: phaces Suggestion: places
Sentence: On the other hand , these days, people attention is increased about the healthiest life, and how they can search the best way to live better, by watching programs talk about how they can choose food with multipule vitamins and minerals.
Error: multipule Suggestion: multiple
Sentence: The second reason is that, medical advanecement.
Error: advanecement Suggestion: advancement
Sentence: The movie describes the singer's life when the disease attacked him, and how he suffered a lot. the doctors couldn't stop his bleeding and they couldn't treat him because they weren't as knowledgable as the doctors of these days.
Error: knowledgable Suggestion: knowledgeable
Sentence: This experience taught me that, with advanecement in the knowledge nothing be difficult to solve and that's why people are living longer now.
Error: advanecement Suggestion: advancement
Sentence: Moreover, the advanecement in discoveries of medicine get rid from many diseases that attacked the people in the past.
Error: advanecement Suggestion: advancement
Sentence: We all should follow a healthy life by eating good and doing excersises and when we use this way we will never regret it.
Error: excersises Suggestion: exercises
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 486 350
No. of Characters: 2191 1500
No. of Different Words: 239 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.695 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.508 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.35 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.13 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.808 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.437 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5