The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Health Naturally, a small but expanding chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
"Our previous experience has been that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build one of our new stores in Plainsville, which clearly has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise equipment are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight-training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a program called Fitness for Life, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."
Health and fitness are two important matters for a longevity. While health trends are increasingly popular, there have been a substantial growth in companies that provide healthy foods and healthy products. Although the vice president of Health Naturally states some reasonable assumption, the memorandum does not fully provide sufficient supporting data to build stores in Plainsville.
Countless people make purchases on items to better themselves physically, but often these items are left to collect dust. The vice president mentions that Plansville has had an increase in sales for running shoes and exercise equipment are at all time high. There is no proof that residents are using these products or even for the right purpose. People buy running shoes to wear to work or just to run errands because these shoes provide the best support. There should be data collected by surveying residents the type of health equipment they have, if they own any runnings and/or how often these things are used for what it is made for. Stating that sales for health related products are at it’s peak doesn’t necessarily correlate to increase health concerns.
With more members than before and continuously full classes, this doesn’t exactly justify the success of the local gym with more health conscious residents. The gym could have been doing poorly many years due to better gyms in the area. Perhaps the other gyms closed down and push all of the people to this one. Also, how many more members are we talking about here? It is 10 more? 50? 100? The vice president vaguely presented this information without providing the exact number of define such a substantial growth in the health gym. Perhaps the gym also has less classes offered and therefore, members are pushed to concentrate the few class they have to choose from. The booming success of the local gym provided insufficient data to conclude towards the vice president’s standpoint.
It’s important to instill healthy foundation in children at a young age, but it does not prosper within every children. As time change, it is not guaranteed that many of children will continue a fitness lifestyle. Since there is so many emphasis on education and academic, many students forgo the importance of health. This can also be seen in siblings from the same household. Parents try to build the same foundation for all of their children, but everyone grows up to be different. The program might reach out to several of the school children, but there is no proof is will bring forth an entire generation of healthy concerned customers.
Base on the several assumptions made, it cannot justify that many Plainsville residents are as concerned about their health habits as the vice president mentions. There is no actual concrete data that Health Naturally will be successful in this area.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 355, Rule ID: BUY_VBG[1]
Message: Did you mean 'by'?
Suggestion: by
...s or even for the right purpose. People buy running shoes to wear to work or just t...
^^^
Line 4, column 474, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean ''?
...ovide the best support. There should be data collected by surveying residents the ty...
^^^^
Line 6, column 287, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...aps the other gyms closed down and push all of the people to this one. Also, how many more...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 566, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun classes is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...he health gym. Perhaps the gym also has less classes offered and therefore, members ...
^^^^
Line 6, column 640, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun class seems to be countable; consider using: 'few classes'.
Suggestion: few classes
..., members are pushed to concentrate the few class they have to choose from. The booming s...
^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'if', 'so', 'still', 'therefore', 'while', 'talking about']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.249527410208 0.25644967241 97% => OK
Verbs: 0.166351606805 0.15541462614 107% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0945179584121 0.0836205057962 113% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0491493383743 0.0520304965353 94% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0283553875236 0.0272364105082 104% => OK
Prepositions: 0.105860113422 0.125424944231 84% => OK
Participles: 0.0396975425331 0.0416121511921 95% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.67030077817 2.79052419416 96% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0302457466919 0.026700313972 113% => OK
Particles: 0.00567107750473 0.001811407834 313% => OK
Determiners: 0.0982986767486 0.113004496875 87% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0151228733459 0.0255425247493 59% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0113421550095 0.0127820249294 89% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2871.0 2731.13054187 105% => OK
No of words: 468.0 446.07635468 105% => OK
Chars per words: 6.13461538462 6.12365571057 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65116196802 4.57801047555 102% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.363247863248 0.378187486979 96% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.286324786325 0.287650121315 100% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.196581196581 0.208842608468 94% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.149572649573 0.135150697306 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67030077817 2.79052419416 96% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 207.018472906 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.536324786325 0.469332199767 114% => OK
Word variations: 63.7033292907 52.1807786196 122% => OK
How many sentences: 27.0 20.039408867 135% => OK
Sentence length: 17.3333333333 23.2022227129 75% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.928771611 57.7814097925 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.333333333 141.986410481 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.3333333333 23.2022227129 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.296296296296 0.724660767414 41% => More Discourse Markers wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 3.58251231527 140% => OK
Readability: 45.9658119658 51.9672348444 88% => OK
Elegance: 1.62015503876 1.8405768891 88% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.366187246925 0.441005458295 83% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0874127225348 0.135418324435 65% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0590215649618 0.0829849096947 71% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.44487950208 0.58762219726 76% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.17381203228 0.147661913831 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.114249107517 0.193483328276 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0743241467162 0.0970749176394 77% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.283496227329 0.42659136922 66% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0227839728549 0.0774707102158 29% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.244882040171 0.312017818177 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0588945556196 0.0698173142475 84% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.33743842365 192% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.87684729064 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.82512315271 207% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 11.0 6.46551724138 170% => OK
Negative topic words: 1.0 5.36822660099 19% => More negative topic words wanted.
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.82389162562 177% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 14.657635468 116% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.