TPO 46 - integrated writing
According to the reading, doctors are encoureged to use electronic medical record system instead of traditional pen and paper method. The passage berings some benefits of this change while the speaker considers all of the presented reasons inconvincible, and refutes all of them.
First, the writing indicates that using electronic based method reduces the cost of storing and and transporting medical records because electronic database records require no space.However, the lecturer oposses this point by saying that this change still won't reduce the costs because doctors don't throw their records and keep them for backup. Maybe, they need to keep the records because they have to have the signed paper. So, electronic records won't decrease the cost.
Second, the passage mentions that the new method of keeping medical records prevents erorrs because in this way, fonts of the computer are used instead of bad handwriting of the doctors, but the professor points that making mistake is still highly possible because most doctors use paper and pen while examining their patients, and give these notes to the office stuff to enter them in to the computer.
Finally, the passage says that electronic medical records aids research projects because these datas can be extracted from the database and be managed easily while it is impossible to manually go through thousands of patients' records. In contrast to that, the professor asserts that receiving electronic data would still be hard because there are many restriction in US law that just allows patients to use their records for themselves, so patients have to give permission to researchers to use their available data that have been recorded on them. As a result, researchers have to follow a hard process to obtain the records.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-02-21 | Bobby-Shi02 | 88 | view |
| 2018-12-21 | soumeye | 81 | view |
| 2018-11-12 | tarannomkhak | 90 | view |
| 2018-11-12 | tarannomkhak | 90 | view |
| 2018-11-12 | tarannomkhak | 90 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: First, the writing indicates that using electronic based method reduces the cost of storing and and transporting medical records because electronic database records require no space.However, the lecturer oposses this point by saying that this change still won't reduce the costs because doctors don't throw their records and keep them for backup.
Description: The token and is not usually followed by a conjunction, coordinating
Suggestion: Refer to and and and
electronic medical records aids research projects
electronic medical records aid research projects
there are many restriction in US law
there are many restrictions in US law
Sentence: According to the reading, doctors are encoureged to use electronic medical record system instead of traditional pen and paper method.
Error: encoureged Suggestion: encouraged
Sentence: The passage berings some benefits of this change while the speaker considers all of the presented reasons inconvincible, and refutes all of them.
Error: inconvincible Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: First, the writing indicates that using electronic based method reduces the cost of storing and and transporting medical records because electronic database records require no space.However, the lecturer oposses this point by saying that this change still won't reduce the costs because doctors don't throw their records and keep them for backup.
Error: oposses Suggestion: passes
Sentence: Second, the passage mentions that the new method of keeping medical records prevents erorrs because in this way, fonts of the computer are used instead of bad handwriting of the doctors, but the professor points that making mistake is still highly possible because most doctors use paper and pen while examining their patients, and give these notes to the office stuff to enter them in to the computer.
Error: erorrs Suggestion: errors
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 9 12
No. of Words: 291 250
No. of Characters: 1478 1200
No. of Different Words: 152 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.13 4.2
Average Word Length: 5.079 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.481 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 20.149 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.434 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.686 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.188 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 212, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...this change while the speaker considers all of the presented reasons inconvincible, and re...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: and
...ased method reduces the cost of storing and and transporting medical records because el...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 183, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...ronic database records require no space.However, the lecturer oposses this point by say...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 295, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...l wont reduce the costs because doctors dont throw their records and keep them for b...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, may, second, so, still, while, in contrast, as a result, in contrast to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 10.4613686534 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 5.04856512141 59% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 7.30242825607 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 12.0772626932 75% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 22.412803532 125% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 30.3222958057 109% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 5.01324503311 20% => More nominalization wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1512.0 1373.03311258 110% => OK
No of words: 287.0 270.72406181 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.26829268293 5.08290768461 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.11595363751 4.04702891845 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57300028452 2.5805825403 100% => OK
Unique words: 156.0 145.348785872 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.543554006969 0.540411800872 101% => OK
syllable_count: 463.5 419.366225166 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 3.25607064018 31% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.116997792494 0% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.23620309051 73% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.51434878587 198% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 13.0662251656 69% => OK
Sentence length: 31.0 21.2450331126 146% => OK
Sentence length SD: 122.994529638 49.2860985944 250% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 168.0 110.228320801 152% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.8888888889 21.698381199 147% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.2222222222 7.06452816374 159% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 4.19205298013 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 4.33554083885 46% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 4.45695364238 90% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.27373068433 70% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.532390093716 0.272083759551 196% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.228625644955 0.0996497079465 229% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.127671904804 0.0662205650399 193% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.310048998509 0.162205337803 191% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.119242652598 0.0443174109184 269% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.3 13.3589403974 144% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.01 53.8541721854 74% => It means the essay is relatively harder to read.
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 11.0289183223 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.88 12.2367328918 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.19 8.42419426049 109% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 63.6247240618 115% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.7273730684 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 10.498013245 137% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.2008830022 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 78.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.