Argument Essay
"According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year , fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year.And yet the percentage of positive reviews about specific Super Screen movies have increased in this year.Clearly,the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough to our prospective viewers.Thus the problem lies not in the quality of our movies but with the lack of awareness that good movies are available.Super Screen Movies should thus allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching public through advertising."
The advertising director proposes allocation of greater share of the budget towards advertising, he makes this proposition based on some weak assumptions, and firstly he believes from some reports that the viewers are not well aware of the movies the company makes because its positives reviews are not reaching to the masses. Further the director assumes that people in general like the kind of movies that the company made in the last year. The director then bases his conclusions on the fact that some of the movies that were produced last year have got positive reviews.
The primary problem according to the director is that people do not know about their movies and the reason for this he accounts is the lack of positive reviews that have reached the audience. This conclusion is based on the fact that some of the movies have received positive reviews thus the author cannot extend this proof to the entire movie that company produced in the last year. They must reach out to the audiences to accurately know about the awareness they have about the movies that they produce.
Secondly the director presumes that the movies produced by the company last year had a mass appeal. It may have been positively critiqued however that is not an indicator that a movie will attract audience, as it has been seen that most of the critically acclaimed movies have had low viewership as it does not appeal to the masses. I would like the author to compare the movies they made in past and that they made last year to understand what the audience like and what went wrong.The director would do better if he identified the prospective audience that have liked their movies in the past. A general consensus must be drawn upon only after talking with the audeience.ne must ask what the people like. Who the prospective audience is?
The director bases his conclusion on the basis of a few movies with positive reviews. I would like to know how many movies the company produced that year and then what percentage of those movies was positively reviewed. Also we must have data comparing the number and types of movies produced in the years previous to the past year. Only then can one come to a conclusion about why the viewership has dropped. It could be that most of the movies may have been not so critically acclaimed and the audience kept away from such movies thud reducing the viewership. We must also ask for the insight on the viewership of the movies that were positively reviewed rather that extrapolating that data onto all movies produced, we must seek for differentiation between some well critiqued movies and the rest of the movies.
We must base our conclusion on logical reasoning that can be derived from more data and analysis of the situation. We must also ask if increasing the budget allocation for advertising reduces the budget allocated for production which could then cause a downfall in the production value of the movies thus reducing the quality of the movies and further enervating the situation rather than helping it. Thus in the light of lack of reasonable information I feel that the director must not base his conclusion on a few reports and must try to understand the real reason behind the fall of viewership.
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Sentence: Who the prospective audience is?
Description: The tag a WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by the
Suggestion: Refer to Who and the
Sentence: We must base our conclusion on logical reasoning that can be derived from more data and analysis of the situation.
Description: The word base is not usually used as a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to base
Sentence: Thus in the light of lack of reasonable information I feel that the director must not base his conclusion on a few reports and must try to understand the real reason behind the fall of viewership.
Description: The word base is not usually used as a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to base
Sentence: It may have been positively critiqued however that is not an indicator that a movie will attract audience, as it has been seen that most of the critically acclaimed movies have had low viewership as it does not appeal to the masses.
Error: critiqued Suggestion: critique
Error: viewership Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: A general consensus must be drawn upon only after talking with the audeience.ne must ask what the people like.
Error: audeience.ne Suggestion: audience. He
Sentence: Only then can one come to a conclusion about why the viewership has dropped.
Error: viewership Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: We must also ask if increasing the budget allocation for advertising reduces the budget allocated for production which could then cause a downfall in the production value of the movies thus reducing the quality of the movies and further enervating the situation rather than helping it.
Error: enervating Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Words: 560 350 (less words. write the essay in half an hour)
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 560 350
No. of Characters: 2651 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.865 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.734 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.477 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 130 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.621 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.378 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.172 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5