The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of marketing at Dura-Socks, Inc.
"A recent study of Dura-Socks customers suggests that our company is wasting the money it spends on its patented Endure manufacturing process, which ensures that our socks are strong enough to last for two years. We have always advertised our use of the Endure process, but the new study shows that despite the socks' durability, our customers, on average, actually purchase new Dura-Socks every three months. Furthermore, customers surveyed in our largest market—northeastern United States cities—say that they most value Dura-Socks' stylish appearance and availability in many colors. These findings suggest that we can increase our profits by discontinuing use of the Endure manufacturing process."
The argument put forward by the vice president of marketing at Dura-Socks Inc., in order to discontinue the current Endure manufacturing process owing to their less durability is cast with serious assumptions. The recommendation further assumes that on discontinuing the Endure manufacturing process used to manufacture socks, we can increase the profit. But how this actually happens is of doubt and several questions need to be answered before arriving at a conclusion based on the recommendation by the vice president.
First of all, the time during which the study was conducted is not clearly mentioned. If the study had been conducted years before, then it is least assured that the same effects will continue till now. Therefore, the exact time during which the study was conducted must be ascertained in order to proceed further with the argument. Also, the group of customers who suggest that the company is wasting money on Endure manufacturing process must be throroughly scrutinized and they must be provided with a questionnaire so that they can ascertain their side and prove their point.
Secondly, the Endure manufacturing process is quoted to be patented; then how come, will there be any doubt of following the process? This question must be analyzed in great detail because unless a process is of vital importance and providing great benefits, it will least likely be patented. Then how come a patented process provide negative effects? Moreover, the Endure process is said to be advertised to the people and the people are found to purchase the socks once in every three months. But how come these two processes are interlinked with the notion of "durability" must be clearly explained. If, the people buy socks once in three months, does it necessarily imply that the durability of the socks has gone worst? It can be due to numerous other reasons like the need of more number of same kind of socks due to high demand, increase in population leading to the increase in number of socks etc...
The author mentions about a survey conducted in the popular market of Dura Socks. But questions like: How many customers were examined? What form of questionnaire was used to elicit information from them? Does preference for stylish appearance imply that there can be increase in the sales of socks? Moreover, there might be a case that the profits incurred are solely due to the usability of the product. In this case, the color and aesthetic nature of the socks becomes a second nature and of least importance. Hence these factors must be examined before deciding that color and variety of socks will surely lead to increase in profits.
The Endure manufacturing process is said to have been patented and passed a large number of rigorous testing stages inorder to be eligible for use. It also ensures that the socks will remain good for two years. Hence reverting to a new process altogether will do more harm than good. What effects will the discontinuing of process have on the sales of Dura Socks? Will there be additional production methods available which outweigh the benefits of Endure manufacturing process? These points need to be considered before discontinuing the Endure manufacturing process.
Hence the argument put forward in the memo from the Vice president of Dura Socks Inc., leads to several questions like: the time during which the study is performed, validity of the study, the nature of patented process, durability playing a role in purchasing socks frequently, nature of survey conducted to examine the preference of customers, existence of other processes similar in nature and advantageous than Endure manufacturing process. These questions must be answered properly. Otherwise, it will go a long way in impeding the progress of the company and taking the company towards negative growth. Therefore, the words of the Vice President must be analyzed properly in order to decide whether they have to be considered for implementation.
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Sentence: Also, the group of customers who suggest that the company is wasting money on Endure manufacturing process must be throroughly scrutinized and they must be provided with a questionnaire so that they can ascertain their side and prove their point.
Error: throroughly Suggestion: thoroughly
flaws:
No. of Words: 652 350 (the fifth paragraph need to be removed. Write the essay in half an hour)
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.278 0.35
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 31 15
No. of Words: 652 350
No. of Characters: 3256 1500
No. of Different Words: 267 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.053 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.994 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.756 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 232 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 181 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 123 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 79 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.032 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.622 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.613 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.278 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.484 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.076 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5