The chart below shows amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
The chart below shows the amount of money spending on 3 kinds of fast foods-hamburgers, fish and chips, and pizza in Britain. As we see people with high income consume more fast food than other groups, and to be more precise 40 per cent for hamburgers, 20 per cent for pizza, and approximately 17 per cent for fish and chips. But this expenditure is slightly different in people with average and low income. For example, in second group, the share of hamburgers is about 33 per cent, pizza is 11 per cent but the proportion of fish and chips is more than other two groups and it is 25 per cent. Subsequently, people with low income spend their large amount of profits on fish and pizza, and small amount on pizza.
The graph shows us the trends in consumption of fast foods during 1970 -1990. As we see, 1970 the most popular fast food were fish and chips, but now we cannot say that they are still popular. Hamburgers and pizzas started grow steadily from 1975 and today hamburgers are the most consumed fast food.
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Sentence: As we see, 1970 the most popular fast food were fish and chips, but now we cannot say that they are still popular.
Description: A verb 'to be', past tense, 2nd person singular or all is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to were and fish
Sentence: Hamburgers and pizzas started grow steadily from 1975 and today hamburgers are the most consumed fast food.
Description: A verb, past tense is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to started and grow
flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 2 4
better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/qthe-graph-below-shows-different-mo…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graph-below-gives-information-about…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/charts-below-show-uk-and-usa-energy…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/cheart-below-shows-information-abou…
or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2
sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/climograph-below-shows-average-mont…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graphs-below-show-types-music-album…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/table-below-gives-information-about…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 10
No. of Words: 185 200
No. of Characters: 809 1000
No. of Different Words: 98 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.688 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.373 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.31 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 40 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 24 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 15 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 11 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.051 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.47 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.611 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.198 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 4