When a country its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In globalization era, technology is important for each people in the world. People use technology for working or just take information and play with social media. Technology can make traditional skills and ways of life die out.
People always use technology every day and choose play social media or chatting while meet others people to do activity together. It is make people do not have careful about environment. Technology make lazy people in society. For that effects, people do not know about traditional skills because some other people thinks it is boring and better play with technology.
In another case, technology give benefits such as people use technology like internet to publish about traditional skills and it is faster to give information in society. Many pictures, story about traditional background and videos about traditional dances or traditional ceremonies. The information can upload in social media like Facebook or YouTube and it can saving about traditional skills.
In my opinion, people must care about traditional skills in country. Because country start from traditional and traditional have story about a country. Traditional is history about country. So, all people who live in society must to give contribution for save the traditional skills like come to watches traditional skills, theater about local stories, or give creativities for develop traditional skills in society.
In my conclusion, a country need someone to save the traditional skills such as the government, society and people who have ability or interest about traditional skills. All elements must save and give good creativity and contributions to develop and protect the traditional skills together.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2013-07-28 | renofitriasari | 50 | view |
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Comments
Hello there. I've read your
Hello there. I've read your essay. Here are my commentaries: Komposisi essay sudah tepat. Beberapa aturan grammar mesti diperhatikan baik2, misalnya: agreement subject dan verb; plural noun; dan tanda baca.
- cara meningkatkannya:
1). Cari contoh essay (group belajar IELTS) dgn Band yg ditargetkan, amati baik2, temukan pattern essay tersebut. Terakhir, imitasi gaya penulisannya.
2). Jika punya waktu senggang, sempatkan mengamati Extract grammar yg 2 lembar dari TOEFL ITP.
3). Lakukan cara 1 dan 2, maksudku adalah: melakukan analisa grammar pada essay yg tlah dipilih (no.1), dengan menggunakan extract tadi (2).
4). Hasilnya, diskusikan ke saya yak.
Itu dulu yak, Ibu Reno :)
Sentence: People always use technology every day and choose play social media or chatting while meet others people to do activity together.
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to while and meet
Sentence: It is make people do not have careful about environment.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and make
Description: The fragment have careful about is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace careful with adverb
Sentence: For that effects, people do not know about traditional skills because some other people thinks it is boring and better play with technology.
Description: The fragment people thinks it is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace thinks with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: The information can upload in social media like Facebook or YouTube and it can saving about traditional skills.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present participle or gerund
Suggestion: Refer to can and saving
Sentence: Because country start from traditional and traditional have story about a country.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or
Suggestion: Refer to traditional and have
Sentence: So, all people who live in society must to give contribution for save the traditional skills like come to watches traditional skills, theater about local stories, or give creativities for develop traditional skills in society.
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to for and save
Description: The token for is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to for and develop
Sentence: In my conclusion, a country need someone to save the traditional skills such as the government, society and people who have ability or interest about traditional skills.
Description: The fragment country need someone is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace need with verb, past tense
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Different Words: 123 200
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 264 350
No. of Characters: 1411 1500
No. of Different Words: 123 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.031 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.345 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.848 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.016 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.312 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.452 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.669 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.222 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5