The following appeared in a health magazine.
"The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author concludes in the argument that the people of Forsythe are following healthy lifestyle. The evidence given in the argument, are assumptions made by author is not substantial.
The people of Forsythe may be adopting any healthy lifestyle. The author provides evidence stating that the survey was carried out and they followed eating habits closely recommended by the government which they did not follow 10 years earlier. The statistics of the survey is not shown in the argument. Here the argument shows no result from the survey and the factors they followed for the survey like the number of people surveyed, their age, the diet they followed the occupation and the physical activities they carried out.
There was a fourfold increase in food product-kiran sales from the survey.The author states that the scientific studies have shown that the food product kiran reduces cholesterol and the author does not cite any scientific journal or any scientific group which conducted this experiment. Also no statistical evidence is shown that this product reduces cholesterol in humans. The increase in sales of kiran product may be due to many other factors like they have good marketing strategies, inexpensive and etc. The residents of Forsythe are following government approved diets that does not mean that kiran product is recommended by government.
The sales of other product sulia were reduced noticeably from the survey. Firstly the author does not give any details of the food product sulia like it supplements or anything. The reduced sales may be because of bad marketing strategies and it is too expensive, so very few healthy people consumed .
The argument may be strengthened with further evidence of the survey like the statistics of number of people, age, occupation and diet. The number of people consumed Kiran in their diet versus Sulia, there cost and more details of the scientific studies of both the products and government approval. These evidences would support the fact the increase in sales of Kiran and decrease of Sulia.
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| 2017-02-09 | atabak | 66 | view |
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Sentence: The number of people consumed Kiran in their diet versus Sulia, there cost and more details of the scientific studies of both the products and government approval.
Description: An existential there is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to there and cost
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 334 350
No. of Characters: 1696 1500
No. of Different Words: 139 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.275 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.078 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.593 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 127 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.267 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.287 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.377 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.62 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5