A nation should require all of it's students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take.
Studying same national curriculum implies the curriculum will contain various subjects from diverse fields. The basic knowledge of diverse subjects will ensure all round development of a student. It is beneficial for students to learn the same curriuculum until they enter college.
A child enters a school at a very young age.All that the child knows is that my favorite hero be it in movies or sport, is what I want to become. As such if their are different curriculums to be selected at entering school the decision to select a curriculum will depend on either the students parents or an organization which decides which curriculum should a student be put into.
In the first case, when parents are allowed to choose a particular curriculum it is probable that the parent will choose a course with most lucrative prospect. May be it was a dream of a parent to become a doctor which he could not fulfill himself. He would be inclined to put his child in a medical based curriculum.
On the other hand, if there are organizations set up or the schools themselves decide in which particular curriculum a student should get admission, the process will basically be random or based on an aptitude test for a child aged three or four. Citing the two examples of curriculum selection- Decision made by parents or decision made by schools both will force the student to pursue what others want. Say a student in put into a curriculum where the future prospects are Engineering degrees when they enter college. After studying the same for 10 years he will understand that Engineering is not his piece of cake or rather, the student could have a liking for history. As he is about to enter college, he will have no option left but to go for Engineering and not follow his passion to study History as according to the University he will have knowledge of Engineering subjects and not History.
Studying a particular curriculum since a very young age will also hinder all round development of a child. A young child, hungry for knowledge should not be deprieved of knowledge. By allowing a child to study the basics of various fields will help him decide what he wants to persue when he is about to enter college.
On the other hand there is a possibility that a nation divides a school curriculum based on Geography of it's various states. Say there is a particular region in a nation where receives heavy rainfall, the student will be taught how to deal with the rain. On the contrary a a region which is prone to draughts would include saving Water and water irrigation in its curriculum . This could well be advantegeous to a nations development as the children are the furture of the nations. However, this implies the student will always have to stay in that particular region for his bread.
Citing the examples discussed above, I strongly believe that same national curriculum should be followed by a nation till students enter college.
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Sentence: May be it was a dream of a parent to become a doctor which he could not fulfill himself.
Description: A verb 'to be', infinitive or imperative is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to be and it. maybe
Sentence: On the contrary a a region which is prone to draughts would include saving Water and water irrigation in its curriculum .
Description: The token a is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to a and a
Sentence: It is beneficial for students to learn the same curriuculum until they enter college.
Error: curriuculum Suggestion: curriculum
Sentence: A young child, hungry for knowledge should not be deprieved of knowledge.
Error: deprieved Suggestion: deprived
Sentence: By allowing a child to study the basics of various fields will help him decide what he wants to persue when he is about to enter college.
Error: persue Suggestion: pursue
Sentence: This could well be advantegeous to a nations development as the children are the furture of the nations.
Error: furture Suggestion: future
Error: advantegeous Suggestion: advantageous
flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5
better to have 5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction.
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
'On the other hand' means However. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 510 350
No. of Characters: 2386 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.752 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.678 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.645 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.83 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.578 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5