The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Contemporary life has provided a vast number of facilities and conveniences which has made the life easier. There is no doubt that luxuries and conveniences of today’s life help habitants in many aspects but, it is not negligible that they have caused human to be less powerful in some aspects such as thinking and analyzing by themselves; moreover, nowadays people are more trying to make an easier and more relax life for themselves and never think about their mental nurture that has a great value.
In the modern world, there are a lot of conveniences. Computers are a good example of such these amenities. Nowadays, people almost try to do all their duties by computers. When they want to save some information, they easily use the computer just by saving that data into it rather than use simple pen and paper or even memorizing it. In addition, when someone wants to solve a very simple mathematical question problem, for instance dividing 110 to 20, they will even use calculators to find the result. As you see, unfortunatly, we are using computers even in so easy problems that we have got stuck in. Then, what will happen to our mind and the power of thinking and analyzing? The answer is simple: it will be deeply diminished! Because of this simple fact, it is very hard now that can find a person with a powerful and potent individual in this aspect. Moreover, people are highly dependent to convenience provided in modern world. What will happen if your computer break down even for one day? What will happen if google servere destroyed? In such situations, all of us will have great problems in our dayly life because we are very dependant on them.
In the modern world, people are more eager to make life easier for themselves. Although this approach could be praised but, what about our mental and social aspect? Should we leave them for themselves and never pay adequate attention to them? Most of the cruls, wars and fights are merely because we think to our amenity and want to gain more power and, never pay attention to the adverse consequences. Such these actions are just originated from a immature mental and social power of thinking. As an another example, imagine someone who wants to gain more power for his/her convenience and luxurious goals but, he is not powerful in making relation with society and never pay attention to it. All these examples are cases of that contemporary life could lead to damage potential and power of an individual.
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Sentence: As you see, unfortunatly, we are using computers even in so easy problems that we have got stuck in.
Description: The word in is not usually used as an adverb, particle
Suggestion: Refer to in so
Sentence: What will happen if your computer break down even for one day?
Description: The fragment computer break down is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace break with verb, past tense
Sentence: As an another example, imagine someone who wants to gain more power for his/her convenience and luxurious goals but, he is not powerful in making relation with society and never pay attention to it.
Description: An article is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, singular
Suggestion: Refer to an and another
Sentence: As you see, unfortunatly, we are using computers even in so easy problems that we have got stuck in.
Error: unfortunatly Suggestion: unfortunately
Sentence: What will happen if google servere destroyed?
Error: servere Suggestion: severe
Sentence: In such situations, all of us will have great problems in our dayly life because we are very dependant on them.
Error: dayly Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: dependant Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Most of the cruls, wars and fights are merely because we think to our amenity and want to gain more power and, never pay attention to the adverse consequences.
Error: cruls Suggestion: curls
flaws:
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.273 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.395 0.50
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
better to have 5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction.
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 429 350
No. of Characters: 1998 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.551 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.657 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.473 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.996 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.409 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.273 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.395 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5