In a recent citywide poll, fifteen percent more residents said that they watch
television programs about the visual arts than was the case in a poll conducted five
years ago. During these past five years, the number of people visiting our city’s art
museums has increased by a similar percentage. Since the corporate funding that
supports public television, where most of the visual arts programs appear, is now
being threatened with severe cuts, we can expect that attendance at our city’s art
museums will also start to decrease. Thus some of the city’s funds for supporting
the arts should be reallocated to public television
The argument is stating that some of the city's fund should be reallocated to public televisions programs as corporate funding that supports public television is now being threatened with severe cuts. Author assumes a correlation between increased percentage of television viewers and attendance at city's art museum to make the claim. Author assumption is based on survey data that shows similar percentage increase in the number of viewers of visual arts programs and people visiting the city's art museums. However, there are no reasons that substantiate this direct correlation between these two increased percentages. It might be the case that more people are watching program since people get motivated after visiting the museum or nowadays there are no other good programs aired on the television. Also, this trend might be because of closure of other recreational activities.
First of all, author has not provided any data to affirm that increase in visual arts program led to increase in people attendance at the museum. Just because there is proportional increase in two percentage, it cannot be concluded that there is correlation between these two increased percentage. So, author has to first find the reason for increased interest to extrapolate why more people are watching visual arts programs and visiting the museum. Without this data this claim is dubious and not persuasive.
Secondly, increased attendance at city's museum might have caused increased percentage of people watching program. Usually, after seeing some art work people get motivated to learn more about it as their interest in that particular field is increased. Because of this increased interest, there is increased percentage of people who are watching the arts programs. So, if city decides to allocate funds from arts to public television then it might impact the number of people visiting the museum as, decreased funds might lead to closing of some museums facilities, hence fewer people visiting the museum. This suggestion of allocating funds to public television will decrease people attendance at museums instead of increasing it.
Thirdly, this survey doesn't list data about each year. It might be the case that this increased percentage is just a short lived hype before the survey was conducted. This increase just before the survey might be because of airing of a program casting a famous celebrity or because of some famous Picasso painting displayed in the museum. So, author should look at granular data of this survey and also consider the current situation before correlating these two increased percentages. Just looking at five years data and coming to a rosy conclusion is unfounded.
Hence, without taking into account all the different viewpoints, this claim is not warranted. Author should first try to find correlation between these two different increase, look for more granular year wise data, and negative impact of reallocating city's fund before coming to a sound and convincing conclusion.
- Originality does not mean thinking something that was never thought before; it means putting old ideas together in new ways. 50
- The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes. 50
- When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitablethan it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices andconduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would impro 66
- “When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitablethan it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices andconduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would im 66
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 30, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
The argument is stating that some of the citys fund should be reallocated to pub...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 22, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... increasing it. Thirdly, this survey doesnt list data about each year. It might be ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 255, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrity'.
Suggestion: celebrity
...ecause of airing of a program casting a famous celebrity or because of some famous Picasso paint...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, however, if, look, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, as to, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 33.0505617978 94% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 58.6224719101 111% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2541.0 2235.4752809 114% => OK
No of words: 475.0 442.535393258 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.34947368421 5.05705443957 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66845742379 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70307099385 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 215.323595506 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.431578947368 0.4932671777 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 792.0 704.065955056 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.740449438202 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.0080916045 60.3974514979 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.5 118.986275619 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5909090909 23.4991977007 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.63636363636 5.21951772744 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.142744781685 0.243740707755 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0542771685379 0.0831039109588 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0482627815369 0.0758088955206 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0919898964088 0.150359130593 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0415648882951 0.0667264976115 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.1392134831 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.8420337079 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 12.1639044944 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 100.480337079 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.