The chart below shows the total number of minutes in billions of telephone calls in the UK divided into three categories from 1995 2002 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates the duration of telephone calls on different sort of devices in the UK in the period between 1995 and 2002.

As can be seen from the chart, in general, national and international- fixed line and mobile followed upward trends from 1995 to 2002, while local-fixed line remained unchanged over the same period. Local telephone was the most popular mean in 1995, with over 70 billion minutes, increased subtaintially to a peak of 90 billions in 1999, before falling back to nearly the same point of the 1995-year in 2002.

For national and international-fixed line, which wa...

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Sentence: Local telephone was the most popular mean in 1995, with over 70 billion minutes, increased subtaintially to a peak of 90 billions in 1999, before falling back to nearly the same point of the 1995-year in 2002.
Error: subtaintially Suggestion: substantially

flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4

Doesn't need two paragraphs for conclusion.

better to have 4 paragraphs:

para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion

sample:
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or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2

sample:
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http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graphs-below-show-types-music-album…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/table-below-gives-information-about…

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 7 10
No. of Words: 191 200
No. of Characters: 915 1000
No. of Different Words: 101 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.718 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.791 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.994 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 59 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 46 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 32 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.887 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.508 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.844 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4