More and more information about the lives of celebrities is found in newspapers, magazines and on-line. Why is this happening? What are the disadvantages for the reading public?
As part of the modernised world, the number of celebrities is increasing swiftly. Celebrities are classified under many categories such as; pop stars, models, actress/actors, etc… Producing newspapers, magazines and online websites regarding celebrities had now become a trend and a passion of making money.
Many writers targets the private lives of many celebrities as this bring demand and interest from the public. In order to be famous, public attention is a crucial factor, but in order to doom a celebrity public attention is still a relevant factor. However, there are controversive arguments regarding the talents of many celebrities around the world. Depending on the personal issues combined with the personality of the celebrity, the writers have the capacity to mimic interesting stories regarding their personal background. I found one article regarding a famous pop star, and to my surprise the feedback and comments are mainly from teenager.
Further emphasising my view point, there are potential drawbacks of this practice on the public. Unfortunately, the target population is the younger generation. Youngsters develop characteristics by following the foot-steps of another individual. As the world is aware of, many kids are much interested in celebrities and their way of living. Producing fake articles consisting of irrelevant information regarding celebrities could directly impact on younger population in my opinion. Another factor is, the money spent on purchasing these magazines, newspapers are extremely overwhelming. This could lead to financial crisis for an individual. In addition, celebrities could also create a social barrier between family members which is strongly unaccepted.
Drawing my conclusion, I would suggest, it is irrelevant to highlight personal information regarding celebrities on public broadcasts. Publishing of fake articles should be banned and government should implement policies on proper publication patterns.
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Comments
Thank you very much for the
Thank you very much for the above comment, much appreciated.
The link was really beneficial, Now I understand how to correlate my ideas to the topic and the floor of writing clearly. Went across some useful vocabulary that would help me for my exam.
Sentence: Many writers targets the private lives of many celebrities as this bring demand and interest from the public.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to writers and targets
Description: The fragment this bring demand is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace bring with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: As part of the modernised world, the number of celebrities is increasing swiftly.
Error: modernised Suggestion: modernized
Sentence: Further emphasising my view point, there are potential drawbacks of this practice on the public.
Error: emphasising Suggestion: emphasizing
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flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.034 0.07
To improve Sentence-Sentence Coherence, you can focus on one idea in one paragraph.
Try this pattern:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2:First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3:Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First
Para 4:Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 291 350
No. of Characters: 1640 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.13 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.636 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.075 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.118 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.125 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.471 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.488 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.034 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5