Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
It is widely accepted that famous people have the most important rule in younger people’s lives. Some people may hold the view that younger people from the past to now always use the opinion of older people because they have more experiences. From different perspectives, some people prefer to say that nowadays younger people want to use the people’s opinion who is the celebrity or popular people rather than older people with much more experience.
Personally, I have a penchant toward the latter. In the next two paragraphs, I will aptly delve into my reasons and I will cogently substantiate this perspective.
The first aspect to point out is that younger people always build a pattern from their favorite celebrity and they act like that pattern and they need to use their opinion to be much more like them. So they don’t want to use the older people’s opinion because it is such a waste of time for them and it doesn’t guide them for being like a popular people.
Another equally noteworthy point in corroborating my stance is that younger people always believe the words from their same age people and they are sometimes under the effect of other younger people and I think most of the celebrities are young so the opinions of them are more important for them. It may sound a bit far-fetched at first but it is based on scientific evidence. Based on the results drawn from an exhaustive survey conducted by the University of Tehran, that is true and it is dependent on the mental emotions of each person.
Finally yet importantly, another reason why I agree with this statement is the indisputable fact that younger people use celebrities opinion because they always want to be like them in the future and it is such a dream for them so they also believe that if they think like them not only they are acceptable person now but also they will be popular in the future life. According to research-based one studies in Tehran University, more than 30 percent of the peoples in Iran act like what the celebrities do and it’s such an evidence for my statement.
In brief, based on the aforementioned arguments, one younger people can logically draw the conclusion that uses the opinion of celebrities can benefit him in many ways, from being a good person in the future to give a good pattern for their future life. However, that was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are some other reasons and examples, challenging the claim, which is not mentioned above. All in all, it is highly recommended that a survey poll is conducted to assess what other long-term impacts it may have on younger people’s morale. As one of the professors of Tehran University, an exalted entrepreneur once said and I am quoting “you must always have a pattern to have a better future”
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- TPO 50 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
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It is widely accepted that famous people...
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Suggestion:
...ogently substantiate this perspective. The first aspect to point out is that yo...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... them for being like a popular people. Another equally noteworthy point in corr...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...on the mental emotions of each person. Finally yet importantly, another reason ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 6, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...e mental emotions of each person. Finally yet importantly, another reason why I a...
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Suggestion:
...s;s such an evidence for my statement. In brief, based on the aforementioned ar...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, so, i think, in brief
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2338.0 1977.66487455 118% => OK
No of words: 485.0 407.700716846 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.8206185567 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69283662038 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76308200571 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.441237113402 0.524837075471 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 751.5 618.680645161 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 20.1344086022 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 77.9011543159 48.9658058833 159% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.125 100.406767564 146% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.3125 20.6045352989 147% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.75 5.45110844103 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.53405017921 132% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.285765741951 0.236089414692 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0953824238148 0.076458572812 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0847956006307 0.0737576698707 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147219625529 0.150856017488 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0970473629365 0.0645574589148 150% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.4 11.7677419355 139% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.27 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 86.8835125448 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 10.0537634409 139% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.