It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be tough to become a good sports person or musician.Discuss both views and gi

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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be tough to become a good sports person or musician.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the last thirty years, the successes of some international school have been popular globally. While some of them said that the success is gotten from student’s talents, the others explained the other hand. Especially for doing sport or music, some people believe that the ability comes from good learning and practicing. I agree that personal ability can get from study.

Many people have talent, but not many of people know that they have it inside their personal. Although some people understand something special in their personal is unique and remarkable thing, they often not sure want to use for bringing a success. For example: a child who able to play piano well, but his parent asked him to be a doctor. And when he grown up, and he decided to be a doctor, not a musician.

I believe that perfect practices bring perfect results. Even if someone has not much talent to do sport, but if he practices more, one day he will get his dream. Personality and hard-working can achieve the purpose when someone does practices. A teacher in my Senior High School said that he did not like teaching student when he was in college, but when he did not get any jobs, he learnt how to teach because to be a teacher is the easiest way to get a job at that time.

As a result, I think that both talent and ability are essential each other, because a talent without practice is nothing, or the other hand. However, it is a motivation which has huge impact for someone who dreams of a success. The motivation which comes from parents and surrounding is vital to someone’s purpose.

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Sentence: And when he grown up, and he decided to be a doctor, not a musician.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to he and grown

Sentence: As a result, I think that both talent and ability are essential each other, because a talent without practice is nothing, or the other hand.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, singular
Suggestion: Refer to essential and each

flaws:
Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 281 350
No. of Characters: 1259 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.094 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.48 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.361 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 85 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 29 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.733 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.476 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.467 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5