Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Children’s life nowadays is quite different that they tend to have unhealthy lifestyle. Some people believe that schools must responsible to change this bad lifestyle while the other people believe that parents is the most vital agents for this changes. This essay will examine these aspects whether school or parents have responsible for this.
Parents today are busier than parents in the past. They just have less time to care to their children. Therefore, for children’s meal, parents prefer to give their children money so that children can buy food in school. As a result, their children can buy everything food that they want and there is no one who control them when they buy food outside. For this point, parents have responsible to ensure their children eat healthy meal. One of the solutions is to cater the food for their lunch. Schools also have important role for this by controling the food quality in canteen and do not giving permission for children to buy food outside.
The other unhealthy lifestyle is that children do not care to keep their area clean. In school, some students like to litter the rubbish everywhere. Also, they like to play with their friends without care whether the place clean or dirty. After playing, they hold the food using their hands without washing their hands first. All of what they do potentially affect their health. Because of that, teachers in school must direct their children to have healthy life and make strike rules for this. Parents also must teach their children to usually keep clean.
To sum up, in order to change the unhealthy lifestyle in children, I believe that both parents and schools have responbility for it. While the parents control and teach their children at home, teachers do it in school.
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Sentence: Some people believe that schools must responsible to change this bad lifestyle while the other people believe that parents is the most vital agents for this changes.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to must and responsible
Sentence: This essay will examine these aspects whether school or parents have responsible for this.
Description: The fragment have responsible for is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace responsible with adverb
Sentence: For this point, parents have responsible to ensure their children eat healthy meal.
Description: The fragment have responsible to is rare
Sentence: To sum up, in order to change the unhealthy lifestyle in children, I believe that both parents and schools have responbility for it.
Error: responbility Suggestion: responsibility
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.646 7.5
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 299 350
No. of Characters: 1434 1500
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.158 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.796 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.23 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 93 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.646 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.474 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.506 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5