"Our citizens are well aware of the fact that while the Grandview Symphony Orchestra was struggling to succeed, our city government promised annual funding to help support its programs. Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent, and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. The symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. Such developments indicate that the symphony can now succeed without funding from city government and we can eliminate that expense from next year's budget. Therefore, we recommend that the city of Grandview eliminate its funding for the Grandview Symphony from next year's budget. By doing so, we can prevent a city budget deficit without threatening the success of the symphony."
The memo from budget planner for the city of Grandview recommend that eliminating its funding to Grandview Symphony from next year will prevent a city budget deficit without threatening the success of the symphony. However, the memo fails to answer some question which is necessary to prove whether eliminating budget will not threaten the success of the symphony.
Firstly, citizens of Grandview are well aware of that Grandview symphony Orchestra was struggling to succeed and city government promised annual funding to help support its programs. What if orchestra was not good enough? Then even if government promised to fund their programs, there are no citizen will come to watch and still struggling to succeed. Memo fails to provide details about people why they don't visit orchestra. So, Memo should answer about what are the problems of orchestra and why they are still struggling to succeed.
Secondly, Private contribution to the symphony increased by 200 percent. The question is how much they receive contribution before If there are struggling still? Then memo should provide details about accurate number of contribution then and now. If two year ago, private contribution is 10 dollars than last year private contribution increased 200% which means they receive only 30 dollars. So, author should provide accurate details about private contributors.
Attendance at concert also increased. Here also, memo fails to answer how much increased in number. There are lacks of data which fails to answer accurate details about symphony. They announced an increase in ticket prices. But what if citizen visits because of ticket prices are reduced because they are funding by both private and government? And increase of price means that they need more revenue from programs. And they don’t provide any information about how people have reacted to increased price and if they increase prices of tickets then they may fail again. And assuming success of one program can increase price of tickets then they might get failure.
What if there ticket prices are not affordable to other citizen then no one should come to watch their programs. Memo also fails to answer about how many programs they have done after government funding and how much they are successful. Memo should suggest review of programs. What if a symphony program fails after eliminating government funding? They should answer the above question that might help to understand that symphony program is actually successful or not.
So, Memo fails to answer certain questions that are needed to conclude that symphony orchestra is actually successful or not after government and private contribution. Also they fail to provide accurate details about how much private contribution and attendance increased.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-11-06 | Vaibhav Panchal | 42 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 442 350
No. of Characters: 2292 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.585 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.186 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.542 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 177 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.37 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.314 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 70, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...for the city of Grandview recommend that eliminating its funding to Grandview Sym...
^^
Line 2, column 293, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'citizens'?
Suggestion: citizens
...ed to fund their programs, there are no citizen will come to watch and still struggling...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 405, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...o provide details about people why they dont visit orchestra. So, Memo should answer...
^^^^
Line 3, column 156, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to still'
Suggestion: to still
...ribution before If there are struggling still? Then memo should provide details about...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 575, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...es of tickets then they may fail again. And assuming success of one program can inc...
^^^
Line 6, column 169, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...er government and private contribution. Also they fail to provide accurate details a...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2352.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 440.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.34545454545 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57997565096 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60313602195 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.395454545455 0.468620217663 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 711.9 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.407649084 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.1111111111 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.2962962963 23.324526521 70% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.48148148148 5.70786347227 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.286560847572 0.218282227539 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0919409592375 0.0743258471296 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.115929398019 0.0701772020484 165% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.166848235275 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.101438471271 0.0628817314937 161% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.45 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.